Just One Time
by ImagenaryFriendd
Summary: Out of curiosity, Nick decides to kiss Jeff -as an experiment, but things change for both of the boys.
1. Chapter 1

Nick lay on his back on the floor, reading the book he held above his head. Of course he had finished his homework already, he didn't need much time or effort to do it, he was a genius and always had it done in no time.

Jeff envied his best friend so much. It always took him ages before he got anything done concerning school work. He sat on his bed, which was the one against the back wall, underneath the window and next to the desk, books spread over his lap, and his physics book on his lap. Even though he had read the text over five times already, he had no idea what it was about, he simply didn't understand.

Just when Jeff was about to read it for the 6th time, Nick rolled over on his stomach and started talking to him. "Can I try something on you ?" he asked while he dangled his feet in the air. "It's an experiment."

Jeff looked up and stared at his roommate. "Uhm, depends on what it is." Of course he was suspicious, he knew Nick way too well, the boy loved pulling pranks on unexpected moments. There was a long history of those, but one day Jeff was going to get him back.

Nick read his mind. "No, I'm not going to hurt or irritate you." He jumped up on his feet and walked to Jeff's bed. "It's meant as a friend-thing. It would really help me if you let me." He said while he shoved some of Jeff's books aside and sat down in front of him.

Jeff studied Nick's attitude, he still didn't trust the situation. "And it's not meant to make me roll over the floor from unstoppable laughter, does not involve green hair-dye, accidentally breaking my phone, hacking into my computer and sending creepy emails to my mother, pizzas in my bed or waterproof markers ?"

"No," Nick grinned, slightly satisfied. "but I'm proud you remember all these."

"In that case, yes. What do I have to do ?"

"First, you have to promise me you promise me you will not stop seeing me as your best friend, and you will not tell anyone. And it would help if you let me finish my actions, but if you want me to stop, feel free to slap me."

Jeff didn't have the slightest idea where this was going. "Okay, I promise." he said while he raised an eyebrow.

"Good. Now, just sit there and if you want to, close your eyes."

The last thing Jeff saw before he closed his eyes, was Nick's smile. He felt weight shifting on the bed and heard Nick sigh. "You know I trust you right now, don't make me regr-" Jeff was cut off by a pair of soft lips on his'.

Nick had bent over and closed his lips over Jeff's. He wasn't sure about was he was doing, but he needed to do this, he had to figure this stuff out for his own and Jeff's sake. He needed to be sure he wasn't just making things up because Jeff was closer to him than anyone ever had. Maybe he had been confusing the best-friend feeling for love, because he had never had a girlfriend or been in love, so he had no idea what it felt like. But now, the moment their lips met and he felt a flutter in his stomach, he was absolutely sure he wasn't mistaken. He was in love with Jeff. The same Jeff who he always pulled pranks on, the same Jeff he had shared a dorm with and had been his best buddy from the day they started at Dalton, which was about three years ago.

Jeff was completely surprised by this action and shivered, not knowing if this was a good shiver or a bad one. It would be a bad sign either way, because if this was a good shiver, it meant he had feelings for his best friend, and that was not a good sign because nothing could ever happen between them, right ? He had always been straight, and so had Nick, right ? But why was he kissing him now ?

His stomach felt like it was filled with sparkles that slowly moved to his brain to take away the confusion. He leant a little bit deeper into the kiss, but not too far, otherwise Nick would notice.

After a couple of seconds just sitting there with their lips against each other's, Nick slowly moved his lips and felt Jeff's mouth open a little. Did that mean .. Did that mean he was allowed to go further ? He didn't know the slightest thing about kissing, but he took this as a yes and carefully gasped for more of Jeff's mouth and let their tongues meet.

Every move was slow and soft, but it was enough to make Jeff's head spin, whether it was in confusion or something called 'love'.

Their mouths gasped for the other's and their tongues brushed against each other. Nick had to suppress the urge to wrap his arms around Jeff's neck and pull him closer, and his heart seemed to pound out of his chest. This was his best friend for goodness sake, he couldn't show too much of his feelings. Jeff would still think this was just an experiment, like he told him, and everything would go back to normal. That is, if he stops now. This was just a one time thing, to see what he was going to do next. _Just stop now, Nick, stop._

Nick got himself together and pulled back. Even though the kiss lasted for only twenty-five seconds, it was enough to produce more thoughts in this little time than they had done in their entire lives.

_Okay, Jeff can't know anything, when you open your eyes, be cool, this was just an experiment. Tell him what you were going to tell him in the first place. Ignore your feelings and use your brain. Just be cool._ When he opened his eyes, he saw Jeff staring at him with a flushed face.

The sparkles sank back to Jeff's stomach, and all there was left in his head was confusion, and a bloody lot of it. What was all this ? What was Nick trying to achieve with this action ? He was absolutely sure his face was bright red right now, what if Nick noticed? _You need to cool off, Jeff, just be who you were before this happened. Be your cool self, who you used to be._

"What's wrong ?" Nick asked him.

Jeff tried to sound as calm as he could, which seemed to work. "Where was that for ?"

Nick shrugged coolly. "As I told you, it was an experiment."

"For what ?"

"Well.." Nick tried to remember what he was going to tell Jeff before he kissed him. "As you may know, I have never had a girlfriend, so I thought I might be gay or bi or whatever you like to call it, I just mean I thought I might be interested in guys. Just something to do with my sexuality and curiosity." He gave Jeff a look as innocent as he could.

Jeff looked a bit horrified and confused.

"You're not grossed out, are you ?" Nick asked hastily, afraid he had messed up everything.

"No ! No, don't worry. So this was to sort out your sexuality ?"

"Hmhm." Nick nodded.

"And .. ? Sorted it out yet ?"

"Not completely. But it definitely helped a bunch. Thanks." Nick patted on Jeff's leg before he jumped up from the bed. "Sorry by the way, I probably should've announced what I was about to do."

"Yeah, if you're planning on doing this again, that might be a good idea." Jeff bit his lip and an awkward silence fell. Jeff was the one to break it. "Also, could you help me with physics ? I don't understand a word from what I'm reading." He pointed at the book.

"Depends. What is it about ?"

"Electricity."

"That's one of the easiest things ever !" Nick exclaimed happily before he plopped down next to Jeff. "Tell me what you don't understand."

"Uhm, basically everything." Jeff sighed, not talking about physics only.

"In that case, I shall start at the beginning. An atom exists of.."

From that moment on, Nick's voice was practically unheard by Jeff. His thoughts were in a total different place. Actually, they weren't. They were right here, on his own bed, with Nick, but in a slightly different position. He wanted to kiss Nick so bad, but it had all been an experiment. He pinned his hopes on nothing but insecurities. Nick hadn't done this to see if he liked _him_, it was meant to find out if he liked boys in general, and even that he didn't know for sure.

He stared at Nick's lips that recalled the memory of being kissed by them, and he started to feel warm on the inside again. Nick stared back at him and smiled. ".. okay ?" Nick finished his talk.

Jeff had no idea what Nick had been talking about. "Uhm, no, not really. Explain it again ?" he muttered.

And Nick started to explain again. Jeff wondered how Nick could be so calm about this and how he could concentrate on something else than what happened just a bit earlier.

What Jeff didn't know was that Nick used this opportunity to distract himself from what he felt. Nick wasn't that strong at all, but this seemed to work for him as long as he kept talking and didn't look at Jeff all the time.

The more Nick talked, the more Jeff missed, the more he thought about what happened and what was going to happen in the future, and he found himself in an impossible situation. It was clear nothing could happen between them, and it frustrated Jeff immensely. Tears were burning behind his eyes even though he tried to keep calm. He didn't want this, he didn't want any of this ! He just wanted his life before all this back, his earlier self, his earlier best friend who was now his crush. He just wanted to move on. He was overreacting, this was just because he was in an all-boys-school, it messes up your hormones. Get yourself together Jeff, you're not a kid anymore.

"Jeff ?"

He jumped up when he heard Nick saying his name and quickly wiped the tears away with his sleeve. "Yeah ?"

"Are you crying ?" Nick knew it was a stupid question, of course he was crying.

"I'm just really frustrated I still don't get this stuff." _Smooth excuse Jeff_, he thought to himself.

Nick nodded. "Well, that's enough of that for today then." He closed Jeff's book. "We'll continue some other time. Let's go to bed." _Well, that sounded very suggestive._ "To sleep. Let's go to sleep I meant." He added quickly.

Jeff pretended he hadn't noticed and agreed. He was really tired after all.

* * *

><p>"Just for the record, what would you call this, what we did earlier this evening ?" Jeff asked fifteen minutes later, when they both lay in their own bed.<p>

"I would call it .." Nick turned around to face Jeff even though he couldn't see him because it was dark. ".. an experiment to help me and has no effect on our friendship." He had to lie, this whole thing that happened had only made his feelings for Jeff stronger. Now he would want to kiss Jeff for the rest of his life, knowing he couldn't. Of course this would affect their friendship. How could he have been so stupid do give in ?

"So no feelings whatsoever ?" Jeff asked.

Nick nodded and pulled up the blanket a bit more. "Exactly." He felt a sting in his chest saying this. It hurt him to lie to his best friend, especially about things like this.

"So you're saying you didn't even feel the smallest butterfly or spark in your stomach ?" _Or electricity in your lips, or a tinkling just beneath your waist, or an unbelievable lust to do this again .._

Nick laughed quietly, being too worried about his own feelings to notice what Jeff was trying to say. Of course he felt the things Jeff mentioned (and more), but there was no way Jeff could ever know. He would think he was a creep, and he would lose the only person he ever cared about this much. "Of course there was tension, but that's with every kiss, right ?" he didn't even know what he was talking about, he had never kissed anyone before, so how could he possibly know ?

Jeff seemed to overlook this detail. "Right. Well, I'm glad I could help." Jeff swallowed. That was all he needed to know for now. From this moment on, he would pretend this hadn't happened and would deny all feelings for Nick, they'd go away eventually. _When you wake up tomorrow, you'll have forgotten everything. _"Goodnight Nickers." He whispered.

"Goodnight Jeffers."

* * *

><p><strong>What did you think ? Good, bad, any ideas for improvement ? (:<strong>

**Also, a big thanks to my beta-reader Lizzie, you rock ! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Apologies for the delay ! My harddrive crashed and I lost half of the stuff I typed up .. And it took me some struggling to get it typed up, but I did eventually.**

**Meanwhile, for those who don't know, I made a blog about this fanfic. It tells little background stories of the two boys and some spoilers to keep you entertained while you wait for the new chapter. It's _jeffersandnickers_ on Tumblr. Let me know what you think ! ;D **

**Also a big thanks to Lizzie, my wonderful beta ! _brbfangirling_ on , and _foreverniffler_ on tumblr. Go and shower her with your love !**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy ! (:**

* * *

><p>Nick had attempted to sleep for a few hours, but he was absolutely restless. The guilty feeling of almost destroying Jeff and his' friendship, and the worries about having to keep his feelings down caused a lot of tossing and turning, so when he woke up, he barely had any energy.<p>

He opened his eyes and looked to the left. The sun was rising and a beam of warm light covered the face of his roommate, who was still asleep. It up his blonde hair and his whole face looked so beautiful. And then there were his long eyelashes ..

He got out of bed and couldn't help standing still to study Jeff's face for just a little bit longer. He loved this boy so much, and he could never tell him. He felt tears coming up again but blinked them away and sighed.

He looked at Jeff again. When Jeff slept, his mouth was always opened a bit, just like today. Nick had never really noticed it before. Funny how you start noticing things when you start looking differently at someone.

_And he's sleeping so peacefully .. You know what ? Jeff seems to be okay with all this, so why can't you ? As long as you do not lose him, it'll be fine. I will not lose him as best friend, I will _not_. From now on, I will act like nothing happened. Or at least try. I'm going to do this for him._ Nick thought by himself while a smile appeared on his lips.

Suddenly Jeff's eyes fluttered open. "Good morning Nickers."

Nick jumped up and clutched at his heart. "Good gracious, Jeff !" he breathed.

Jeff blinked, still sleepy. "Did I scare you ?" he sat up and rubbed in his eyes.

"Sort of. I wasn't really awake yet, and I didn't expect you to be awake just yet either. You always sleep until ten minutes before breakfast, and then you hurry your ass off to get in time." Nick replied.

Jeff gave an admitting nod. "True." He yawned. Waking up with Nick staring at him was kind of pleasant, also a little bit awkward when you think about it.. "Nick, why were you staring at me ?"

Nick almost panicked, but reminded himself of his plan. He would act like nothing had happened. What would he have done if this happened two days ago ? He grinned and pinched Jeff's cheek. "Because you look so cute when you sleep."

This action turned Jeff's cheeks red because of two reasons, one of them being the pinch, which was actually pretty painful, the other being a blush.

Nick let go of Jeff's cheek. "No, just kidding. I was just about to wake you up."

"Half an hour too early ?" Jeff sounded disbelieving.

"Yeah dude, they have scones for breakfast ! You don't want to miss that, do you ?"

There were always scones on Fridays, they were home-made by the cooks of Dalton and absolutely delicious. Even though not that many pupils liked them, you had to early to get one because the few pupils who liked them, _really_ liked them.

The two boys often tried (and succeeded) to get some. They'd freshen up and put on their uniforms as fast as they could, and ran downstairs to the kitchen where the lovely smell of scones greeted them. Exactly like this time.

Fortunately, only Thad and two other blokes were in the kitchen already, and there were plenty of scones left. They took some scones and a cup of black coffee, and sat down next to Thad who was staring sheepishly in his cup of tea.

"Good morning, Thad !" Jeff said happily while chewing on a scone.

Nick poked him. "Don't eat while talking !" he frowned and looked thoughtful. "I meant don't talk while eating."

Jeff snorted and replied, still chewing. "Sorry."

Nick rolled with his eyes. "Dork."

"Hello party people !" sounded a way too enthusiastic voice.

Thad groaned. "Flint, please."

Flint never ran out of energy and never seemed to sleep. He was a real spirit- and party animal. He was also a giant blabbermouth, sometimes deliberately, like when he knows you have a crush on someone and he 'accidentally' mentions it to him or her, but most of the time completely accidentally. He just couldn't keep his mouth shut –which is why some people hate him or don't trust him with anything. Kind of sad when you think about it.

"Okay, okay. I'll just be quiet and eat this delicious scone with whipped cream and chocolate crums." He said before he started licking the cream off the scone.

"Chocolate ?" Jeff and Nick exclaimed loudly, followed by a groan of Thad who knew exactly where this was going. The two boys combined with chocolate, never ended well.

Jeff started stuffing his mouth with the chocolate while Nick put cream on a scone first and dipped it in the chocolate after which he tried to shove the whole thing in his mouth –in which he obviously didn't succeed in the slightest.

Jeff started laughing and almost choked on his chocolate. Nick's muffled and semi-offended "Oi !" only made Jeff laugh harder.

Nick chewed and swallowed quickly before he choked too. "What was that about ?"

"Nothing. Just .. you should've _seen_ yourself ! Such a little guy trying to stuff a giant-" Jeff let out a snort and wiped away some tears from laughter. "It looks absolutely ridiculous."

"Oh really ?" Nick raised an eyebrow before he took a dive to the bowl of chocolate, grabbed a hand full and threw it in Jeff's direction.

"Oh no, you don't !" Jeff meant to dodge the chocolate, but he reacted too late and the flakes landed on his hand, slid of his hair and down his shirt. "Oh –you're going to regret that for the rest of your life, Nick Duval !" said Jeff while he quickly licked his upper lip, already enjoying this sweet revenge.

Nick's eyes widened and he turned around to run to the other side of the kitchen in a failed attempt to save himself from Jeff –who simply started running after him.

That's when the chocolate fight broke out.

After some time, definitely not more than seven minutes, the bowl that was once filled with chocolate flakes, was empty, and every single surface in the kitchen was covered with chocolate while Thad was hiding under the table, clenching on to his cup of tea, Flint was licking chocolate from the surface of the table, and the other two boys simply ignored the situation and stared out of the window.

Jeff looked a bit disorientated and was catching his breath while tried to stand and looked for Nick –who was a couple of metres behind him and ready to jump him, but Jeff was laughing too loud to realize.

Nick took a short sprint before jumping on Jeff's back and rubbed the chocolate in Jeff's beautiful blonde hair.

Jeff gave a scream and tried to get Nick of his back, but his smaller friend's legs were firmly wrapped around his waist, so there was no chance he was going to succeed, and he collapsed to the ground, Nick landing on top of him.

"Geez, Nick !" was the only thing Jeff could say before he burst out in laughter again. He felt Nick shaking with laughter too, since he was on top of him.

Nick and Jeff were laughing like they used to, there was no shame in anything at all and the moment felt perfect like old times again. Of course, there had to be a stupid Flint-remark to make it completely like old times. "Aww, just look at them being all hetero !"

Nick simply rolled his eyes and ignored the comment, but unlike old times, the remark actually hurt Jeff, it felt a slap in the face and Jeff's blood started to boil. Just when he was about to snap something back at Flint, a lady from the kitchen staff walked in.

She gasped, covered her mouth with her hands before she slowly lowered them. "Was that you again ?" She spoke angrily and looked accusingly at Jeff and Nick. She didn't really have to ask though, she was sure it was the two boys again. Things like this had happened often at Dalton, and Jeff and Nick were involved most of the time.

Jeff swallowed and Nick rolled off Jeff, stood up and offered Jeff a hand to help him get on his feet too. "Yes." He spoke softly, knowing that the kitchen lady was about to lose her temper.

"Right." She breathed, observing the chaos.

Jeff and Nick shot each other a look and looked expectant at the woman in front of them. This was probably going to be detention again. Not that bad, especially not with each other.

"Detention." She said, putting a relieved expression on the two boys' faces. "Two hours."

"What ?" Nick sounded disbelieving. They never got two hours, most of the time it was barely one since the teachers wanted to leave as soon as they could too.

"I think you heard me. Now get out of my kitchen."

"But-"

"NOW !" she snapped while she pointed an angry finger at the door.

Jeff gave Nick an irritated look before they walked out of the kitchen, just in time to hear an impressed whistle from Flint.

Jeff clenched his fists and wanted to turn around to give Flint a good slap across the face. But Nick knew Jeff too well, and pinned him to the wall before Jeff would do anything stupid. "Don't. He's not worth it, and it's not going to help any of us." He said calmly.

"Get off me !" Jeff said irritated before he wrestled himself free.

"Woah. What's with that ?" Nick's expression was surprised and confused.

"You know why." Jeff growled and started walking towards the staircase.

Nick raised an eyebrow and followed him. "Do you mean Flint ?"

Jeff shook his head. "No ! I was talking about detention. Two freaking hours, Nick. And I just realized I have hockey practice the last hour of school .." he walked around the corner, the staircase was on the end of this corridor.

"Jeff, I know you, so first of all: do not blame this whole thing on me, because it's your _own_ fault as well as mine-"

Jeff stepped on the first steps of the stairs. "I'm not blaming anyone, I'm just pissed."

Nick rolled with his eyes. He knew Jeff better than Jeff knew himself. "And secondly, just forget about Flint. Let it go, okay ?" he tried to sound as calm as he could in an attempt to calm Jeff down.

"You're the one making a big deal out of this." Jeff murmured.

Jeff could be so stupidly blinded by anger sometimes. Fortunately, it doesn't happen often because Jeff is quite a calm –no, calm's not the right word, cheerful is probably a better word for it- but Nick has seen him like this a couple of times before. "Jeff, I've known you for three years now, don't think you can fool me, I _know_ you. Just admit you're angry with Flint !" Nick persevered.

Jeff swung his arms in the air. "Fine !" he gave in. "So I _am_ angry with Flint. What would that change ?"

Nick didn't know what to say and an awkward silence fell.

"Besides, I have all reason to." Jeff broke the silence while he started to walk faster.

Nick tried to catch up on Jeff and was almost running up the stairs. "Why ? He's been saying stuff like this a lot lately. Why would it suddenly matter ?" He didn't understand.

Jeff stopped in his walk so Nick almost bumped into him. "Because we _kissed_, Nick. That's why."

"Jeff !" Nick cried while he looked around to see if there were any students who could've heard what Jeff had just said –which wasn't the case, the halls were empty because everyone was still having breakfast. "Keep your voice down ! No one can know, you promised !" he was practically begging.

Jeff's expression softened, and he sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. But I'm just not going to let Flint insult us like that."

_So Jeff thinks it's an insult they see us as couple ? _Nick felt a sting in his chest. "You think it's insulting to think we're together ?"

"No !" Jeff said quickly. Why did Nick always have to take things the wrong way ? "That's not what I meant at all. But, you know, heteros are often insulted when they're called gay, so I figured it was the same way around."

Nick pushed him in a side corridor before Jeff could blurt out anymore of Nick's secrets. "I told you, I haven't figured it out yet ! And are you really going to let Flint almost letting us break up- ?" _Woah, Nick. What are you saying ?_ ".. our friendship like that ?" he added quickly, feeling the tips of his ears starting to turn red.

Jeff's eyes lit up. Did Nick just confuse their friendship for a relationship ? Did that mean Nick wanted to be in a relationship with him ? Did that mean Nick actually _liked_ him back ? Is that why he kissed him yesterday ?

Still, Jeff didn't want to jump to conclusions and tried to think of an answer that would relax Nick a bit –because honestly, he was actually looking a bit nauseated right now.

"You're right once again. I'm just pissed off by everything combined. I mean, I have hockey practice the last hour of school ! I'll never be in time for detention, and I'll have to sit in front again.." Jeff sighed.

Nick was relieved by this reaction, it meant Jeff's anger had vanished. Most of the time, Jeff wasn't mad for long. "I'll save you a spot ?" he shrugged.

"Really ?" A smile appeared on Jeff's face. "Thanks Nick, you're the best !" before he was aware of his actions, he had wrapped his arms around Nick's neck and held him tight. Throughout the years, it had become sort of a reflex.

Nick stiffened for a second and tried not to freak out. _Why are you freaking out ? Until a day ago, this wouldn't even have bothered you. Man up. This is just a hug and he's your best friend._

He carefully wrapped his arms around Jeff's waist to hug him back. This actually felt really good. He had a feeling their friendship might just survive.

When Jeff let go of him, Nick accidentally held on to him for a bit longer and his face flushed faster than ever. "Sorry." He murmured while he pulled back his arms and put his hands in his pockets.

Jeff laughed. "It's okay."

"Good." Nick nodded sheepishly. "So, history ?"

"History." Jeff echoed while he dragged Nick into the hall to follow their way to the classroom.

Unfortunately, Flint just passed, and even more unfortunate, he noticed them. "Hello there, lovebirds ! You know, one day, one of the school staff is going to catch you making out, and you might risk being separated. So I'd watch out if I were you."

_Oh geez. There goes again_. Nick tried to think of something to say, he wanted to react before Jeff did. At that moment the bell rang, and Nick knew what to say to shake Flint of for a while. "Oh crap, class is starting already. Jeff, we've been snogging for too long again !" he winked at Jeff, to make clear this was to shake Flint off. "Sorry Flint, gotta hurry. Bye." He dragged Jeff along in the direction of the history class, leaving Flint with open mouth.

Jeff grinned bitterly at Flint before he turned around and started walking faster. _Oh Nicky, how much I wish what you said was true._ Jeff thought to himself.

* * *

><p>The following hours were pretty uneventful. They still sat next to each other in class like they used to, but this time the boys paid attention to the teacher instead of each other. At least, that's what the teachers thought. Little did they know that what the two boys were doing wasn't writing down notes, but scribbling down silly things to figure out how they felt about the other, followed by scratching over it again to hide everything they just wrote down.<p>

They didn't sit next to each other at lunch though. Not because they made a deal about this, but because they both felt a bit uncomfortable about it and knew the other felt it too.

Some of their friends noticed, but most of them didn't. Untill Flint opened his hideous mouth again, that is.

Nick had glanced over at Jeff to see his reaction, but Jeff was staring out of the windows with his earplugs in, so he probably hadn't even heard it –which was absolutely fine with Nick, because now none of them bothered to give a response, the rest of the group waved the remark away and had forgotten about it in no time.

But it also worried Nick. Jeff was always so springy, so cheerful, just so .. present. And now he was, well, not. He just sat there, staring into space, pretty much separating himself from the group laughing Warblers and other students they called friends. He hadn't even touched his food yet !

Nick felt really bad. Maybe he shouldn't have kissed him. No, there was no question, he simply shouldn't have. Still, Nick didn't say anything to Jeff in fear of saying something stupid and making the situation worse. After all, he couldn't be sure the kiss was the reason Jeff was upset. Maybe Jeff had other things on his mind .. But it's not like Nick believed this himself.

The next break, they sat next to each other again –just in case someone would notice this time and bring it up, and because it felt weird, not being next to each other. It's what they've done ever since they started at Dalton. They didn't arrange this either, but they knew each other so well, they could practically read each other's mind when it comes down to situations like this.

After this break, Nick would have Physics and Jeff would have hockey practice (those were the only classes they didn't take together. When Jeff had Physics, Nick had Art. When Nick had Physics, Jeff had hockey practice.) followed by detention for both of them.

They were sitting at a table in the cafeteria with Thad, Flint, David, Trent, Lewis, Louis, Sebastian and Wes, when Brian arrived with the coffee everyone had ordered on a plate.

Nick grabbed his', and he passed Jeff's drink on to him. "There you go."

"Thanks." Jeff murmured while he took the cup and closed his shaky hands around it to warm his fingers.

Nick bit his lip. He knew there was something up with Jeff, but he didn't know what to say. "Are you sure you don't want anything besides coffee ? Something to eat maybe ?"

_I want you._ Jeff thought, _not that you'll ever know_. "No, I'm good. Thanks." He smiled faintly.

"You're not. You haven't had a proper breakfast, you didn't eat your lunch and I haven't seen you eating in other breaks either."

"I ate during Maths." Jeff lied, and dropped his gaze and stared at his hands.

"No, you didn't. I sat next to you and I haven't seen you eating at all." Nick was barely able to suppress the worry in his voice. Why was Jeff lying to him ?

Jeff sighed. Why did Nick always have to see right through his lies ? (Well, always, exept when he's lying about his feelings for Nick. Nick never notices then.) "Nick, you're a good friend, and I understand you're worried, but there's nothing to worry about. I'm just not hungry today." He said while he shrugged.

Nick knew he wouldn't be able to get anything else out of Jeff, so he decided to drop the seriousness. He leaned into Jeff so there was only a small gap left in between them. "Is it because of the chocolate confetti ?" he asked with a mischieveous grin.

As soon as Nick leant in, Jeff began to panick. For a second he thought Nick was going to kiss him again, and his hands started to get sweaty. He felt Nick's breath stroking his cheek and he closed his eyes. He heard Nick saying something and realized Nick wasn't going to kiss him at all. He didn't know to feel relieved or disappointed. He opened his eys and saw Nick grinning at him.

He forced a convincing smile. "Because of the chocolate confetti."

Their eyes met for just a split second, but Jeff was absolutely positive Nick has seen the pain and misery that was hidden in his eyes.

"Now kiss !" Flint shouted, drawing all attention to them.

Jeff blinked and looked shocked at Flint, overwhelmed by this action.

Nick also turned his head and met eight pair of curious eyes staring in their direction. He rolled his eyes, because honestly, these things didn't even bother him anymore. But Jeff turned red, and Nick couldn't tell if it was in shame or anger. When he saw Jeff's grip on the cup of coffee he was holding in his hands, tighten, he was sure Jeff's blood was boiling. He just hoped Flint would realize _for once in the world_ what an asshole he was and would stop his teasing. But Nick's hoping was in vain.

"You can let go of the cup, Jeff. I think you're hands are warmed up now, they're al sweaty." Flint continued, wiggling an eyebrow and making the others laugh.

Jeff's expression turned bitter. "Stop it, Flint." He said hoarsly.

Flint pouted. "It's not my fault you two are always being so hetero for each other !"

"I said _STOP IT_ !" Jeff yelled, loud enough for the whole cafeteria to hear. "I'm _sick_ of this, Flint. I'm sick of _you_ and your stupid gay jokes." He jumped up and grabbed his bag. "I'm out of here." He said more laid-back now and was about to walk away.

"Jeff-" Nick tried to stop him and grabbed his arm.

Jeff shook his hand away. "Don't _touch_ me !" he yelled histerically, totally lost his way.

For a second, he stared into Nick's eyes, but what he saw there hurt too much to keep looking, so he turned around and marched towards the exit of the caferetia.

"And don't even _think_ of following me !" were his final words before he slammed the heavy brown doors shut.


	3. Chapter 3

**That makes up for the delay on the last chapter, doesn't it ? ;D**

**For those who don't know, I made a blog about this fanfic. It tells little background stories of the two boys and some spoilers to keep you entertained while you wait for the next chapter. It's _jeffersandnickers_ on Tumblr. Let me know what you think ! ;D **

**Besides Lizzie, my wonderful beta (_brbfangirling_ on here, and _foreverniffler_ on tumblr. Go and shower her with your love !), reviews keep me writing, I'd appreciate it if you left one. Only if you want to of course ;D**

**Anyways, enjoy ! (:**

* * *

><p>Detention had started ten minutes ago, and Jeff still hadn't arrived at the classroom. Although Nick saved the spot next to him for Jeff, he wasn't sure his friend was even going to show up. He hadn't heard anything from him after he diva'ed out of the cafeteria.<p>

He was about to give up hope and accept the fact he would have to sit by himself for those two terrible hours of detention, when he heard the doors creaking softly and Jeff poked his head around the door.

Jeff wasn't sure if Nick had saved him a spot because he had been kind of distant towards Nick and he might be angry with him because Nick hadn't even bothered to text him last hour, but when he looked around the classroom, he immediately recognized Nick and noticed the table next to him was empty, and he let out a relieved sigh.

He was still panting a little from hockey practice when he flopped down on the chair. He bent over and grabbed some books from his bag to spread them out over the table, because that's what you're supposed to do when you have detention. You're supposed to make homework. And if you don't have books on in front of you, the teacher will come up with some silly exercises. Most of the time everyone just put a book on the table and simply started talking, texting or listening to music.

This time, Jeff wasn't in the mood for any of those –okay, listening to music maybe, but the battery of his iPod had died somewhere during Maths. And he guessed talking with Nick wasn't going to be very pleasant either, so he might as well do some homework. If he's able to concentrate on it, that is. His mind hasn't really been able to focus on anything lately..

Nick was relieved when Jeff took place next to him. It meant Jeff wasn't angry anymore –or he just didn't want to sit in the front, but he certainly looked a lot calmer to Nick.

He tore a small piece of paper out of his notebook, wrote the words '_you're late_' on it, and passed it to Jeff.

Jeff scrambled something on it and gave it back. '_I know. Hockey practice_.'

'_I almost thought you weren't coming at all._' Nick wrote back.

Jeff read what Nick had written and started to feel sorry for him. He shouldn't have yelled at him, it was unfair of him. Nick couldn't help Flint's behavior, so he shouldn't take this out on him. Still, he didn't feel like talking or apologizing, so he hid the piece of paper somewhere in the back of his notebook and started working on some Geography exercises, those were always easy. Maybe he was able to concentrate for a bit. He just had to shut off his thoughts for a while and stop thinking about Nick and what happened yesterday, but that only made him think about it even more.

Ten minutes passed, Nick was scribbling down notes, pretending to be busy, and looked at Jeff a couple of times, who was staring into space while he tapped with his fingers on the table. When Jeff was deep in thought, he always tapped on the surface of whatever was near him. Nick knew this and passed Jeff another piece of paper.

'_What's on your mind ?_'

Jeff hesitated. He really wanted to tell Nick the truth, that he was thinking about what happened yesterday, but he wasn't sure what he would do next. What if Nick wanted to know more about what he thought ? He wasn't that good in making up excuses at all.. He decided to play it safe.

'_Hockey practice._'

Nick shook his head and passed the paper to Jeff. '_That's not true._'

Jeff sighed and bit his lip. He might as well tell the truth now, Nick probably knew what he was thinking about already.

'_Last night_.'

'_What about it ?_'

'_I don't know_.'

'_Sorry_.'

'_For what_ ?'

'_I shouldn't have_.'

'_Doesn't matter. What's happened, happened_.'

'_I know, but still. You probably never thought about it before, two guys._'

'_You're right, I didn't. Just a bit confused_.'

'_Wanna talk about it ?_'

Jeff was about to write something back when a hand from behind him suddenly snatched the piece of paper out of his hand.

Both of the boys looked up with shocked expressions and watched the professor, Mr. Agee, reading their conversation while all the other students in the classroom stared at them.

"Shit." Nick whispered under his breath, answered by Jeff who rolled his eyes. They had been caught writing notes before, quite some times to be honest. The least they expected was detention for even _longer_, and both of the boys let out a sigh.

"Did you use protection ?" Mr. Agee asked suddenly.

"Did we _what_ ?" Jeff's confusion turned into shame when he saw the rest of the pupils were trying to hold in their laughs. Some of them failed at this, and snorting and giggling filled the classroom. He understood now. "No ! I mean, it's not what you think, professor !" Jeff felt the warmth of same creeping up his face.

"Of course not." Their professor said sarcastically. "Well, it was only a matter of time. This time, I'll just leave it at this."

Nick covered his face with his hand and tried to remain calm, but he could feel his face was flushed already too. Every student in the classroom was looking at them.

The remaining hour or so were hell for the two friends, every now and then, a pupil let out a snort or a giggle, and Jeff and Nick were glad when their detention was finished. They hurried themselves out of the classroom and made their way to the cafeteria to grab a cup of coffee before escaping to their dorm.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe he actually thought we.." Jeff didn't even want to finish that sentence and quickly paid for their drinks.<p>

"Oh my gosh, neither can I. I have never felt this embarrassed before in my _entire_ _life_."

"I know, right ?" Jeff said before he handed Nick a cup of coffee and walked out to find the staircase that led to the side of the dormitory where their room was.

Nick took his drink and shuffled after Jeff. "But do you ?" he said when they walked up the stairs.

"Do I what ?" Jeff frowned.

Nick searched for the key and opened the door when he had found it. "Want to talk about it. You didn't get the chance to reply." He took a sip of coffee while he kept the door open for Jeff.

Jeff blinked and took a mouthful coffee before he replied. "I don't know. Should I ?" he was pretty uncomfortable about this. Nick seemed to be okay with this all –exept Mr. Agee's remark, but that was understandable- while he himself simply couldn't get over it.

When Nick was about to say something back, they heard at least six hastily knocks on the door, and they immediately knew who was on the other side of the door. There was only one person who knocked like this.

"What is it, Thad ?" Nick sighed.

Thad stumbled in, followed by Wes, Trent, Flint and Louis. "Is it true ? Did you do it last night ?" Thad was talking so fast, he stumbled over his own words.

"That would explain your strange behavior towards each other !" Louis added.

"I knew it !" Flint exclaimed.

"Who topped ? And how do none of you look sore ? I've seen both of you sit comfortably today .." Trent said, followed by some more of his rambling.

It was at this remark of Trent, when Nick realized what this was about. He was glad Jeff hadn't had the time to say anything yet, because he most definitely would've jumped to conclusions and would've flapped out something about the kiss –thinking they knew. Nick could understand though, he himself had thought it was about their kiss too, until that last remark of Trent.

"Woah. Calm _down_ !" Nick had to speak loud to be intelligible.

The boys were quiet immediately.

"We did _not_ do it last night. Not ever. Who told you this nonsense ?" he demanded. It was kind of painful for him to be this harsh, but this rumour wasn't going to help the situation between Jeff and him. It was hard enough already.

"Flint got it from Dave." Wes said. "Should've known it wasn't true.." he sounded disappointed.

This seemed to relieve Jeff. Dave had been at detention as well, at least they knew where the rumour came from now.

Then he was reminded of all the students that were at detention, and how they probably must've thought it was true what Mr. Agee had said too, and he started to panic. Although Dalton's an all-boys school, rumours go fast. Especially ones like this. The whole school was going to know by tomorrow !

He had no idea why, but tears started to sting behind his eyes. Maybe the feeling of being absolutely powerless overwhelmed him. He would have to deny all his feelings for Nick a million times, every time someone asked if it was true, if they had done it yesterday, if they were in love, he had to answer with some painful harsh answer, just like Nick had just done.

He started to feel dizzy and softly pulled the sleeve of Nick's blazer. "Nick.." he said weakly.

Nick looked at Jeff and immediately saw he wasn't feeling good.

He grabbed the cup of coffee out of Jeff's hand, placed both of the cups on the cupboard and turned to the other boys, who were still in their room. "Now you know it's not true, you can leave. It would also help if you told no one about this. They're probably going to ask you about it too, and I want as less people as possible to know about this rumour. I find it very disturbing." He pushed the others out of the door. "Thanks in advance." He said with a smile before he slammed the door shut and locked it, just in case anyone was going to invite himself in.

He rushed towards Jeff, who was sitting on the edge of his bed now, and kneeled down in front of him, observing him with worried eyes. "Are you alright ?" _Geez, Nick, he's obviously not alright. Stop asking stupid questions._ "I mean, is there anything I can do ?"

Jeff wanted to put on a convincing smile so Nick would stop being so concerned about him and to avoid him asking what was going on, but he wasn't able to and smiled faintly for just a couple of seconds instead.

Nick really started to worry about his friend. He looked like he was about the faint, and he'd never seen Jeff faint, or almost faint, before, exept for one day in mid-summer, it was incredibly hot and they went for a run. Jeff hadn't drunk much that day, and he was staggering on his feet and clenched onto Nick to prevent from falling. Nick had put him down carefully, and after a couple of minutes sitting on the ground, leaning on him, Jeff had been okay again.

"You should've eaten today, Jeff." Nick said, without getting a response from the blonde. "Are you going to faint ?" he asked carefully.

Jeff shook his head slightly. "No." he whispered, but to be honest, he did feel like fainting.

He grabbed Nick's hand, that had been resting on his knee, and hold on to it as if his life depended on it, and immediately hated himself for doing that. Why did he always have to be so impulsive ?

Nick was a bit surprised by this action, but he liked it. He sat next to Jeff, without letting go of his hand, and wrapped his other arm comforting around the blonde boy's shoulder.

"Nickers," Jeff whispered. "I'm scared."

Nick wanted to reply to this, but he had no idea what to say.

Fortunately, Jeff continued, still talking softly. "I'm scared of everyone else, and what they'll think. I'm afraid to go to class tomorrow." It was all true. He was so scared of what everyone else was going to say behind their backs, all the rumours .. And maybe the worst part was that they would always be rumours, and nothing more.

"You have all right to be, but hey, maybe it's not that bad." He nudged Jeff softly. "You know what, why don't you lay down while I get you some food ?" He lay Jeff down on the bed before he made his way to the cafeteria (they were no longer welcome in the kitchen).

* * *

><p>When Nick came back, Jeff was asleep already. Nick smiled. Only Jeff could fall asleep like that this early on the evening.<p>

He put the food he had gotten on the night tish, and looked over at Jeff again. He always looked so peaceful when he was sleeping, even when his life was as stressful as hell. Maybe it was for the better he was asleep.

Nick walked over and quietly unbuttoned Jeff's blazer. Nick knew from experience that sleeping in it was awful, as for the feeling when you wake up. It's awful waking up in a sticky and hot blazer. He carefully undid Jeff of his blazer and hang it over a chair, together with his own.

He tried to think of what he was going to do now. He most definitely didn't feel like doing homework of any sorts, and he didn't know anything else to do without Jeff.

He looked at Jeff again, and he wanted nothing more than to snuggle up against Jeff in bed. They used to do that more often, he guessed they sort of grew up, and the rumours about them didn't really help either.

_Screw that_, Nick thought. He put up some music before he joined Jeff in bed. He lay down next to him, took Jeff's hand and held it tight while he snuggled up against him and buried his face in his chest. Jeff was warm and soft, as he had always been, and it felt familiar again right away. He wondered why they had even stopped doing this.

Nick had a feeling it was his fault. Maybe he had somehow known his feelings were changing into something more. Maybe that was why they had become more distant when it came down to stuff like this.

He realized they hadn't become more distant physically only, but mentally too. He was keeping things from Jeff, and he knew Jeff had been keeping things from him too. Nick thought he had a pretty good reason to keep that part of him secret, but he wondered what Jeff had to hide from him, and why.

Although he was just as guilty as Jeff when it came down to keeping things from the other, it hurt him Jeff didn't trust him enough to tell him. Or maybe Jeff knew his best friend was hiding something, and it hurt him that Nick didn't trust him enough to tell..

Maybe he should tell him soon. Not everything of course, just that he knew for sure he liked boys the way he should like girls, even though that could mean this would be the last night they would spend like this. He didn't know how Jeff would take it, probably good, but Nick would totally understand if he felt uncomfortable with things like sleeping together.

He studied Jeff's hand, the one he was holding with both of his own. The fingers were long and slender –Jeff had perfect piano hands, and the skin was soft with here and there an ink spot.

He brought the hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. "I love you, Jeffers." He whispered.

For a second, Nick thought Jeff had heard because he stirred for a moment, but the pace of his breathing didn't change, so Nick was sure Jeff was still asleep.

Nick sighed relieved and snuggled deeper into Jeff.


	4. Chapter 4

**Again sorry for the delay, but you know how it goes with the holidays ..**

**Don't forget to check out my beta Lizzie's story, she's _brbfangirling_ on here.**

**And for those who don't know, I have a blog in addition to this story where I post little stories of their past or some extra information about the chapter to keep you entertained when you're waiting for the next chapter. It's _jeffersandnickers_ on Tumblr.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter ! (:**

* * *

><p>When Jeff woke up, he felt a warm body pressed against his' and someone was holding his hand. He panicked at first and quickly opened his eyes, but relaxed when he noticed it was only Nick. He intertwined their fingers tighter, and snuggled his face into his best friend's dark hair which was tickling his nose. He closed his eyes again and started to snooze, but then he realized there was something wrong.<p>

They hadn't slept in the same bed for ages, what was Nick suddenly doing in his bed ? No wait, this wasn't his bed, this was Nick's bed. _Oh gosh, what did I do last night ? Have I been sleepwalking ? _His mind was racing, trying to remember what happened last night. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't recall any memories of last night besides some blurry moments that mixed together into one confusing mash of memories –or were those dreams ?

Nick putting him down on his bed, the feeling of Nick curling up against his chest and kissing his hand, Thad and some others asking if 'they had done it last night', a teacher asking if they used protection, and then, the most frightening of them all, Nick whispering he loved him.

Jeff immediately sat up, stumbled backwards off the bed –in the most clumsy way you can imagine, and landed on the ground with a thump. Their fingers had separated somewhere half way through, but he almost dragged Nick, who was lying at the edge of the bed now, along.

He heard Nick waking with a soft groan and saw him opening an eye.

Crap. He wasn't even sure what had happened last night, what was he going to tell Nick ?

As impulsive as he was –and he really hated himself for it, he burst out his train of thoughts out loud. "Oh my gosh, Nick, I'm so sorry for whatever happened last night. To be honest, I don't even remember what it was, but I'm really sorry. Did we do it ? We didn't do it, did we ? Please tell me we didn't do the deed !" Jeff wondered if he had ever sounded this desperate before in his life.

Nick lifted up his head and opened his other eye, observing the blonde boy on the ground who was looking at him with desperate, begging eyes. "What are you talking about ? We didn't do anything last night." His voice was still hoarse since he just woke, but it didn't sound unfriendly. "Mr. Agee thought we did though, and now there's probably some rumour about us going around, that's all. Why would you even think we did it ?" he blinked again the bright light the sun was spreading through their room.

Jeff sighed in relief. "Thank goodness, I panicked for a moment there. I think I sort of blacked out last night and I can't remember what happened, but I had this dream- " He swallowed back the last words of the sentence. He couldn't tell Nick he had dreamt about him saying he loved him, he'd have to explain why his subconscious brought that up and there was no way he was going to tell Nick what he really felt. So he just remained silent and glared at Nick, waiting for him to say something.

Nick tilted his head and stared back at Jeff with curious eyes. "Well, go on, you had this dream .. ?"

"Nothing."

"Liar." Nick stated bluntly, with a little smile on his face.

Jeff shook his head stubbornly. "I can't."

Nick rolled out of bed carefully with the blanket wrapped around him, and landed in front of Jeff. "Oh come ooon." He insisted.

"No. It's stupid." Jeff said while he stared down at Nick who lay at his feet.

Nick pouted. "Why not ?"

Jeff rolled his eyes and sighed. He really didn't want to tell Nick this, because, you know, you usually don't dream about your best friend telling you he loves you, but he didn't want to keep lying to Nick either. "Fine."

This put a smile on Nick's face and Jeff wasn't sure if this was a satisfied one, or an expectant one.

"I dreamt that you put me in bed, snuggled into me –which might be true, because I did wake up with you sleeping next to me, but then it must've mixed in with dreams and stuff.." Jeff started, still not sure if he should really tell Nick what he was about to say next. What if Nick got the secret message he was telling –although he didn't want to tell it at all ? But he decided there was no way back now (Nick wouldn't give up and it'd only make it worse to tell) and he threw the words out as soon as possible. "You grabbed my hand, kissed my knuckles and told me you loved me." He took a deep breath afterwards and observed Nick's reaction, but refused to look him in the eye.

Nick's face fell immediately. "You _heard_ that ?" he blurted out, after which he covered his mouth with his hands. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did you even say that ? It was completely unnecessary and absolutely stupid. You've ruined everything now._

All he could do now was waiting for Jeff's reaction. First, Jeff's face turned from embarrassed to confused, and then from confused to shocked.

"Do you mean it wasn't a dream ? It really happened ?" Jeff's eyes widened and he had lowered his voice without noticing, he was almost whispering. He didn't know what his feelings were doing. One side of him was sort of exploding with happiness, I mean, Nick had _actually_ told him he loved him ! But the other side was telling him Nick was fooling with him, that this couldn't be happening. Everything was just so unreal, and it all happened so fast ..

All of a sudden, Nick stood up, grabbed his blazer from the chair and walked hastily to the door.

"Where are you going ?" Jeff's voice accidentally changed pitch at the last word, and it came out as some sort of squirrel-squeak.

Nick didn't reply and opened the door. He couldn't deal with this right now. He needed time to think, without Jeff around. And if ignoring him or pissing him off was the only way, he had to.

"Nick ?" Jeff yelled completely panicking. He had no idea what was going on in his head, and what was going on in Nick's head was even harder to understand.

"Not a word about this." Nick said before he closed the door. Then he opened it again for a moment and stuck his head inside. "To anyone." He closed the door and quickly made his way to the library, there he would find the right amount of silence (enough to not distract you, but not a creepy sort of silence) and none of his friends went to the library often, so he would be able to overthink everything . They only had three classes today, and they started at 11 o'clock. It was now just past 9, so he hoped he'd have stuff sorted out before class started.

Jeff remained silently and shocked on the ground for a couple of seconds, and then rushed after Nick. He didn't understand what was wrong with him, his moods were confusing, and his actions even more. Why couldn't they just be friends like they used to ?

Okay, of course he knew the answer. Because they kissed, that's why. _Maybe Nick had found out somehow I'm feeling more for him now, _Jeff thought. _If that's the case, I really screwed up._

He turned left into the corridor that led to the library and shouted Nick's name.

The silhouette on the end of the corridor stopped in its walk and turned around. "Leave me alone, Jeff. I don't want you around right now." Then Nick walked into the library and left Jeff even more confused than ever.

Nick didn't want him around ? Ouch.

Jeff turned around and slowly walked back to their dorm to collapse on the bed. This was not good, not good at all. It was actually as bad as it could get. There was nothing worse than Nick not wanting him around without him knowing why. What had he done wrong ? What did Nick know ? _Have I lost him forever now ? But last night .._

He came to the conclusion that Nick was at least as screwed up as him. Maybe some time alone would be good. They'd see each other in class again. Now he had to find something to kill time since he still had two hours until class started and he didn't feel like having breakfast at all. Especially not on his own.

He missed Nick already. He just wanted him to snuggle up against him, he wanted their bodies to be close again, close and warm. He wanted to take him in his arms, give him a kiss on his hair and never let him go.

He sighed and turned his head to the left to see an iPod in the speaker system, and it was only now that he realized there was music playing. Nick must've put his iPod in the speakers yesterday and forgot to turn it off.

_A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather_

_I was praying like that you and me would end up together_

_It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert …_

Then the music stopped. The battery had probably died, which wasn't strange since it apparently had been playing all night long.

Jeff closed his eyes and sighed. Well, those were definitely words to think about.

* * *

><p>Nick entered the library and passed the librarian, a woman in her thirties, who greeted him with a nod before she looked up at him with a confused look in her eyes.<p>

Nick frowned, the librarian knew who he was because he was in the library pretty often, so why was she staring at him like that ? Was he wearing his blazer inside out or something ? He looked down and studied himself. Ah, he wasn't wearing any shoes. She must've noticed the sound of bare feet on the wooden library floor.

He continued his walk past the bookshelves and flopped down on the chair at the table he always sat at when he was here. It was only when he looked at the empty chair next to him, that he realized why the librarian had given him that odd look. It didn't have anything to do with his bare feet (she probably hadn't even noticed, and if she did, she couldn't be too surprised because she's probably seen stranger things around here), she had given him that look because he had come alone. Usually Jeff came with him and they'd study or kill time together, Nick had never come here by himself.

Great, so when something's going on between him and Jeff, the whole school notices ..

He growled and loosened his tie.

The thought echoed in his head. _Something going on between me and Jeff_ .. But _what_ is that something ? Where did it all go wrong ? Well, Nick knew exactly where it went wrong. How could he have been so stupid to actually -?

Nick buried his face in his hands and took a deep breath. The last thing he needed now was panicking. He had to get stuff straight –or maybe not so straight, in his head and try to figure out what to do. Therefore, he had to shut off his feelings and focus on the facts.

He kissed Jeff. Jeff didn't pull away, so he probably didn't –_no Nick, facts only_, he reminded himself. That Jeff didn't pull away was a fact though, so that counted. He and Jeff both acted differently after, he was sure he hadn't imagined it. That brought him to the next fact: he was most definitely in love with Jeff. No matter how hard he had tried to deny it in the past few months (and you can safely assume he did), after what happened this week, he couldn't deny it any longer.

Nick gave his head a short shake to get focus again, but he kept sinking deeper and deeper in thought. After some time he realized this wasn't going to work, so he searched his pockets for a pen and paper.

A phone, keys, a black waterproof marker (he had no idea what this was doing in his pocket) peppermint .. But no paper or pen. He could, of course, write on the table with the marker, but that wasn't such a good idea because one, the words would be written there forever, everyone would be able to read them and most of them knew this was his spot.. Two, his parents would have to pay for the damage, and three, he probably wouldn't be welcome in the library anymore for a while, which meant he was banned from two rooms in Dalton in one week, and that would ruin the image teachers had of him.

He should've taken his bag when he ran out, or at least a notebook and a pen ..

Maybe he should risk using his phone, no teachers came here often anyway, and the library lady never left her spot behind the desk.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and typed the facts he came up with in a 'note':

- _Jeff and I kissed._

- _I liked it._

- _Jeff didn't pull away._

- _We're acting weird towards each other now._

- _I'm in love with Jeff._

- _Flint is a twat._

"Is that a phone ?"

Nick quickly pressed the phone with its screen against his chest and looked up. Guess he was wrong about the library lady never leaving her spot. "Yes."

"Phones are not allowed." She gave him a stern look.

Nick swallowed. "I know, but I really needed to write something down and I forgot to bring my bag, so I thought .." yeah, what exactly _was_ he thinking ?

"It's alright." Her tune was friendlier now. Nick wondered if she knew what was going on. Probably not, but she could always guess. "I can get you a notebook and a pen, but you really should put your phone away now, otherwise I'll have to take it."

"Oh, thank you." Nick answered. He put his phone back in his pocket and sighed relieved when she walked away to get paper. That was close.

"Here you go. When you're finished, just rip out the pieces of paper you used, and bring the notebook and pen back to me." She said while she handed the equipment over.

"Thank you." Nick smiled politely. He wanted to put the library lady's last name on the end of that sentence, but found out he had no idea what her name was and started to feel bad.

Then he went down to business and started the list again and added some new things, but avoided the use of Jeff and his' names by both (because you never know who fishes your paper out of the trashcan when you've thrown it away).

- _We kissed._

- _I liked it._

- _I don't know how he feels about it, but he didn't pull away._

He really hoped he hadn't freaked Jeff out, that would be the end of everything. He was acting strange though, but Nick hadn't really been himself lately either, so maybe Jeff was only responding to his behavior.. Who knows ?

- _We're acting weird towards each other._

Then he remembered the chocolateflake-fight in the kitchen –and it's ending.

- _We do have normal moments._

- _Flint is a twat and completely unhelpful._

And everything that happened yesterday started running through his head again, so he wrote down the following:

- _Besides the kiss, we didn't do anything. We slept in the same bed and snuggled, but that's all. And it was meant as a friend-thing._

He had scratched through the last sentence, because honestly, he didn't know why he did it. Was it really meant the way they did it before, a couple of months ago ? Or was this purely because he wanted to be close to the person he loved so much ? Which led him to the next ones:

- _I'm in love with him._

- _He heard me when I told him yesterday._

Nick still cursed himself for saying it out loud. You never know when someone is really asleep, or still able to perceive what's happening around you, but being too far gone to respond properly. Jeff had been the second option apparently. He just should've told Jeff that it had been a dream, that he hadn't told him he loved him, or kissed his knuckles. But of course, his mouth had to take action before his brain did.

But at first, Jeff had thought it had been a dream, right ? _Was that why he didn't want to tell me about it, because he was ashamed of his subconscious ? And if so, why did he want to cover it up ? Because he felt the same way back but had no idea how I feel about it, or because he doesn't want to ruin our friendship any further than I already have ? _Nick didn't know.

- _I don't know how he feels about this either._

- _We need to talk about this._

Because it's true. They needed to talk about it, there's no way this was going to continue this way. They should talk about what happened and be honest with each other about everything. Maybe he should tell Jeff how he felt ..

Nick shook his head shortly to get rid of this thought. He couldn't. He couldn't simply run up to Jeff and tell him he was in love with him. That would be like the kiss all over again, but worse because there would be nothing enjoyable about it, and there wouldn't be any denying anymore.

But he could at least tell Jeff how he felt about guys, right ? Jeff wouldn't look at him differently if he told him, right ?

Nick was biting his pen while he tried to decide until he realized this wasn't his pen and it would look kind of stupid to turn in the pen having chewed on it –and you never know who's been chewing on it before he did. He immediately stopped chewing on the pen, lowered his hand and started ticking the pen on the table nervously.

* * *

><p>Jeff sat on a table halfway of the classroom, somewhere he always sat when he had Geography, except this time, Nick wasn't there. Class was about to start, and Nick was always on time, except for today.<p>

Jeff knew what was going on. Nick was thinking about everything, trying to get everything straight in his head, completely forgetting the time. He decided to leave it until the teacher brought up Nick's absence, maybe he didn't notice.

"Good morning class," Mr. Hamilton started. "today we're going to work on the exercises for a while first. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. After that I'll show you a video about the center of the earth and plate tectonics." He paused to take of his glasses and polished them with his sleeve. "Go to work."

Jeff pulled his books out of his bag and spread them over the table. Until now, Mr. Hamilton didn't seem to notice the absence of any students, so that was good.

Plate tectonics. Yay. He didn't get a thing about this crap, why was Nick not here to help him ? He sighed and started doodling on an empty page –also whistling songs, but he didn't realize this.

The teacher sat down behind his desk and started up his laptop. At the sound of windows starting, Jeff looked up. Mr. Hamilton couldn't work with computers and he only used his laptop to show (failed) powerpoints, which he hadn't announced so that was ruled out already, or to list the absent students in the half automatic system the school used for that.

_Shit_, Jeff thought. Listening carefully to every name his teacher called to be sure he didn't miss his own or Nick's.

"Nick Duval ?"

A couple of seconds of silence passed before Jeff stood up. "He's not here, sir, but I can get him if permitted ?" he suggested. It was the least he could do for Nick.

Mr. Hamilton looked up from his laptop and observed Jeff. "And why would I permit you to go get him, Mr. Sterling ? He's obviously not present, so he has no excuse."

Jeff thought silently for a while. "Because _I_ am actually here." He said.

"What has that got to do with what I said ?" Mr. Hamilton asked. His tone was more curious than angry.

"Because, professor, he's _not_ here and I _am_. May I ask, have you ever seen Nick or me separately before, sir ? Exactly, no. So I think you can safely assume that even though you don't know what's going on, it must be serious, don't you think ?" Where all this came from, Jeff had no idea.

Mr. Hamilton seemed to think about this for a while. "Okay." He decided.

"Thank you, professor." Jeff gave a quick nod in Mr. Hamilton's direction to show polite gratitude, stood up and made his way to the corridors. Now he had to think of what he was going to say to Nick when he found him.


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as Jeff closed the door of the classroom behind him, his mind started racing. He needed a plan first. Was he going straight to the library, or was he going to stop by their room first to pick up Nick's stuff ?

He wasn't sure if Nick had gone back to the dorm, but Jeff assumed he hadn't, and that meant he had to get Nick's stuff. And if Nick had gone back to the dorm in the mean time, he would find him there or he'd know where Nick had gone by having a look at Nick's stuff. There were certain things Nick took with him when he was going to certain places, and Jeff knew this.

He decided to go to their room first. He passed it on the way to the library anyway.

During the walk to their room, Jeff's mind focused on the next dilemma. What was he going to say to Nick, and how was he going to act ?

He could try to act as normal as possible, but he was sure he wouldn't succeed. He could never act the same again, simply because thing _weren't_ the same anymore. And if he happened to succeed in acting normal, it might seem like he wanted to forget about what happened, and Nick might find it offensive. And if he didn't succeed in acting normal, he was absolutely positive he was going to say a billion stupid things and just make the situation more awkward, so acting like nothing had happened wasn't really his first choice.

He could also show Nick how angry he was deep inside. He was angry with Nick because if it weren't for his actions, nothing would be this complicated or embarrassing and they'd still have their easy and fun lives from before.

Maybe it was more frustration than anger, but he felt like screaming almost every minute of the day. Screaming because he couldn't tell anyone how he felt because no one was supposed to know, and no one ever could. He couldn't even tell what happened because he promised Nick he'd keep it a secret. Screaming because he didn't know what he was supposed to do now, and he couldn't talk about this with anyone else either but he really needed to. Screaming because Nick avoided talking about it and he didn't know what to think or do anymore.

But he couldn't start acting like this, he couldn't do that to Nick. Not now, not ever. He loved Nick too much and the last thing he wanted is upsetting him even more.

He could just tell Nick- no, that's not an option. He could never do that.

Jeff had been so deep in thought he had passed the door of their dorm already and he had to walk back a couple of meters. He grinned because of his stupidity and just hoped no one had seen him.

He opened the door and looked around the room. He grabbed Nick's bag and checked the contents –there weren't any. So he packed Nick's bag and just hoped he had everything.

When he walked to the door again, he saw a pair of shoes with socks in it standing next to the door. Jeff couldn't really remember what happened this morning, it all happened so fast, but he did know Nick was out of the door pretty quickly this morning, so he must've forgotten to put his shoes on..

Jeff grabbed the pair of shoes and locked the door behind him before he made his way to the library.

* * *

><p>Nick was still trying to figure out what to tell Jeff, but he couldn't make up his mind.<p>

He jumped up and immediately slammed the notebook shut when he felt someone wrapping his arms around his neck from behind and resting his head on his shoulder.

It didn't take him more than one second to recognize the strong arms, the piano fingers, the familiar scent and the hairs tickling his ear, and he sighed relieved. "Hey, Jeff."

"Hello, Nicky." Jeff replied while he pulled back his arms and sat down on the chair next to Nick.

"Don't ever scare me like that again, okay ?" Nick did an attempt in looking sternly, but he didn't really succeed.

Jeff grinned. "Yeah, sorry for interrupting your personal writing like that." He replied.

"I wasn't doing any personal writing !" Nick defended himself, but really, who was he fooling ?

"Sure, and I'm Albert Einstein." Jeff replied sarcastically. "Don't even try to fool me like that, Nick, it doesn't work." He paused a second to observe Nick's face to register a slightly anxious expression. "Look, I know you were trying to get your head straight, and I know that's what you were writing about. So don't worry: I haven't read a word." He smiled faintly.

"Thanks." Nick replied. "Then why'd you come here ?" he tilted his head slightly.

Jeff leant back in the chair and closed his eyes before he answered. "I came to get you for class. It started .." he opened his eyes and glanced at his wrist. ".. ten minutes ago."

Nick jumped up from his chair. "Ten minutes ago ? " he panicked.

"Shhh. We're in a library, remember ?" Jeff hushed him.

"But not for long. We need to go to class immediately !" Nick insisted, and was about to walk away.

But Jeff grabbed Nick's arm and pulled him back in his chair gently. "No. I need to say something for a second before we go to class and have another awkward school day, and you're going to listen to me."

Nick opened his mouth to protest, but Jeff gestured him to be silent before he had the chance to say anything, and he answered Nick's unasked question. "It's fine. Mr. Hamilton knows I'm here, I asked for permission to get you and he said it was okay." He paused for a while to find the right words. "Look, I don't know what's going on or what I'm doing any more than you do, but we'll talk about it another time, okay ? Right now we need to focus on classes, well, at least I do, and try to handle and deal with the rumours we're probably going to face today. I'm probably more scared of them than you are, because honestly, I'm scared to death, but we can get through this together. We're _going_ to get _through_ this, okay ?" Jeff tried to catch Nick's gaze, but Nick kept dropping his gaze. So Jeff closed his hand over Nick's and squeezed it firmly, forcing Nick to look up. "Okay ?" he repeated urgently.

Nick was unable to look away from Jeff's beautiful brown eyes, and he couldn't deny the fear he saw in them. Jeff needed him, and he needed Jeff. He gave a little nod. "Okay." The word barely came out.

"Good." Jeff pulled back his hand and rose from his chair. "Now grab your stuff and let's go to Geography." He announced.

"Wait. I have to get rid of something first." He just remembered the notebook he was holding, wasn't his'. "You can go already, I'll be there in a minute."

"Why ? Don't you trust me anymore ?" Jeff tried to hide he was hurt, but he was pretty sure it was audible in his voice.

Nick sighed. "Of course I trust you, but please just do it ?"

The way Jeff nodded and made his way out of the library, sort of broke Nick's heart. He knew he could trust Jeff, he knew Jeff would never try to read what he had written down in the notebook, but he wasn't sure he could trust himself, and he wasn't going to take any risks.

He sighed again. He really didn't want everything to go this way.

He tore the pages he had used out, walked to the other side of the library and dropped the papers in the waste paper-bin before he made his way out to meet Jeff in the corridor.

"Here's your shoes and socks." Jeff said while he handed them over to Nick.

Nick looked surprised, and looked down to check again if he really wasn't wearing any shoes yet. "Thanks. I totally forgot about that." He had barely put his shoes on when Jeff handed him another item.

"And your bag." He paused to give Nick the opportunity to check his bag, but Nick only flung the bag around his shoulder without checking, so Jeff continued talking. "I assumed you haven't had breakfast, so there's cookies in there, you can eat during class, and I put in the History paper that lay on your desk, but I wasn't sure you had to turn it in today or Monday though."

Nick's mouth still hang open when Jeff continued talking again. "Now we have to hurry, Mr. Hamilton is waiting." He grabbed Nick's hand and dragged him along the corridors.

As soon as Nick realized his mouth was still open, he quickly closed it and looked if Jeff had noticed. He hadn't. "Seriously, how.. ?" Nick tried to express the amazement over his friend's wonderful remembrance, but he couldn't find the right words, so he simply went with "You're fantastic, do you know that ?"

Jeff smiled sheepishly and sped up the pace they were walking in, and Nick cursed his short legs because he had to run again to keep up with his friend, so when they arrived at the classroom, he was panting.

"For goodness sake, Jeff, you couldn't take it slow, could you ?" He whined while Jeff opened the door, and he followed him inside to find out all eyes were fixed on them and reality hit him: everyone had probably heard his complaint, and who knows how they interpret this –especially now they were holding hands ?

They were both thinking the same thing: _Shit, we're still holding hands _! They immediately let go of each other's hand and tried not to blush while they made their way, _separately_, to their seats.

Nick felt like slapping himself –or facepalming at least, but he knew this might not be the right moment.

"Just stay calm. Nothing's going on." Jeff whispered to Nick while they sat down. He wasn't sure if he was saying this to calm Nick down, or to calm himself down.

"Welcome boys." Said Mr. Hamilton neutrally before he turned to the black board again.

* * *

><p>The rest of Geography and Maths, was quite normal. Since both of the teachers were explaining a new subject, most of the other students were too busy concentrating and forgot about Nick and Jeff. Most of them.<p>

There was a break after Maths, and they'd have one more hour to go. When they walked out of the Maths classroom and down the hall to the staircase, some pupils whistled knowingly at the two boys who were walking next to each other. It made Nick and Jeff both feel uncomfortable, but neither of them said a word about it and they pretended they hadn't heard anything.

But when a complete stranger (it surprised both of them it wasn't Flint) flung a remark about the rumour to their heads, Jeff panicked and couldn't contain himself. He reached out for Nick's wrist and clenched onto it, his nails digging into the flesh.

Nick looked startled at Jeff and started to worry when he saw Jeff was white as sheet. He struggled with it for a couple of seconds, but he couldn't comfort Jeff here. Not where everyone could see. "Jeff, I can't comfort you here, do you understand ?" he whispered barely audible, but just loud enough for Jeff to hear. When Jeff gave a short nod in reply, Nick continued whispering. "Okay. So for now, just man up and act like you don't care. Otherwise they'll think .." he paused. "You know what they'll think."

This seemed to strengthen Jeff up a bit because he let go of Nick's wrist and he started walking a bit more straight, but he was still very tense.

When they sat down at a table between their friends, Jeff immediately looked a lot more relaxed, but it still took him some time before he could bring himself to talk again.

"Sorry about before, I freaked out a bit." He apologized, regret clearly written on his face.

"Don't apologize, it's fine, really." He paused and took a sip of his coffee. "Feel free to dig your nails into my wrist any time you're scared." He added sarcastically, meant as joke, not to make Jeff feel bad about himself.

"Did I-" Jeff grabbed Nick's arm and turned it around. "Oh my gosh, I'm really sorry." He said when he saw the red marks on Nick's wrist.

Nick shrugged and jerked his arm back. "It doesn't hurt, so it's fine. Stop worrying about it."

".. okay." Jeff said.

At that moment, Louis sat down next to them. "So, how are you dealing with everything ?" he asked out of the blue.

Nick sighed. "Until now, not that bad." He started playing the straw he had gotten with coffee, between his hands.

"I'm really sorry this is happening. I mean, I'd be lying if I said I couldn't see where the rumour came from, and you know I've made jokes about you in the past, but I never meant for it to blow up to such a big rumour."

Nick looked to his left and studied Louis' face. He knew Louis meant what he said, and he had the feeling that besides Jeff, he was probably one of his favorite friends. "It's not your fault. I-" Oh, no, wait. He couldn't tell him how all of this started. He glanced over at Jeff who had a shocked expression on his face and was shaking his head slowly.

"I know. But I can tell it's affecting your friendship, and I don't want to see what you have being torn apart by other people." He paused and put a hand on Nick's shoulder. "Just don't take it that hard, okay ?"

Both of the other boys nodded and they were grateful at least one of their friends seemed to care.

"Oh, and I'm having a bit of a party tonight, you know, since it's been a while anyone has thrown a party. So if you want to come to get your mind off things or just to have fun, I'll see you in town at nine, yeah ?" he said while he stood up and grabbed his bag.

"Okay. We'll see." Nick smiled at Louis and watched him walk away. "Well, at least someone's still normal." He said while he turned to Jeff again. "So, are we going to his party ? It's been a while since we've been off campus –except for going home."

Jeff shrugged. "I don't know. It could be fun, but I'm not promising anything."

"Yeah, let's see how things are tonight." He glanced at his watch. "Oh, we'd better get going if we want to be in time for French." He quickly drank the last bit of coffee, and stood up to walk away.

Jeff agreed and followed his friend into the hall.

And then a miracle happened: they had the first ordinary conversation they'd had since they kissed. It was just a casual chat with silly jokes, and Jeff enjoyed it. He was just giving Nick a real smile –for the first time that day, but then someone had to ruin the moment.

One of the students (neither of them even knew he existed) passed them, yelled "Nice ass, Sterling ! Duval is one lucky boy !" and slapped Jeff's butt doing so.

The boy didn't get the chance to regret his words because his face had a surprise meeting with Jeff's fist.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, I know this chapter's actually kind of boring, but it's neccesary ;D<strong>

**I hope you enjoyed anyway, and don't forgot to follow Lizzie (_drunkthad_) and the blog in addition to this story (_jeffersandnickers_) on Tumblr -but only if you want to of course.**

**Oh, and thank you _so much_ for sticking with me and all the feedback on this story. I love all of you **


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm _so_ sorry it took so long to upload it ! I really didn't mean for it to take this long, but there was all this real life stuff getting in the way and ugh. Anyways, thanks again to Lizzie (_drunkthad_ on Tumblr) for Beta-ing, you're awesome ! And also thanks to all of you who read and/or review this story, I really appreciate it and I love you guys.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter ! (: -it's a bit of a long one.**

* * *

><p>When someone slapped his butt, something snapped inside of Jeff. Someone had crossed a line and invaded his personal space. It was bad enough everyone felt like getting involved in his love-life (which he didn't have by the way), but touching him was really crossing a line.<p>

Not even Nick had ever touched him in intimate places, not even accidentally, not even that one time he was drunk.

Well, okay, maybe once or twice, but never on purpose ! For example, when they hugged and Nick accidentally placed his hands too far down –but that was totally different because Nick couldn't help it he was such a hobbit and his best friend happened to be a pretty tall guy. Besides, he always apologized about it a million times (and Jeff didn't really mind because Nick's hands were really soft).

So as soon as this complete stranger dared to touch him, his reflexes kicked in: he turned around in a split second and punched the guy in the face before he realized what he was doing.

What happened in the next couple of seconds all happened so fast, Jeff couldn't respond to any of it.

The guy stumbled backwards and landed on the floor because everyone was too shocked to think of catching him, and Jeff immediately regretted what he'd done. He stood there dazed and motionless while he stared at his fist, and he realized this was the first time he had actually punched someone.

He vaguely heard Nick gasp and yell his name, but it seemed like the sound was muffled by the haze in his head. Nick pulled him backwards while the crowd split up to make room for the approaching teachers who quickly made their way over and kneeled down on the side of the boy on the ground who looked more startled than hurt.

Then Jeff felt the touch of Nick's firm grip on his arm and someone else calling name before Nick dragged him along –apparently to the principal's office, because when the haze in his head cleared up, he found himself there.

"I have no idea what came over him, Mr. Hensley." He heard Nick say. "I've never seen him like this before, but then again, there's a lot going on and we both haven't really been ourselves lately. Oh I'm starting to ramble again-" Jeff smiled at this because Nick did that quite often, and it was amusing to see principal Hensley's reaction. "My point was, Jeff would never just punch someone. He'd never hurt anyone on purpose without a really good reason."

Then Mr. Hensley glanced at Jeff, and noticed his daze had left. "Have you got to say something for yourself, Mr. Sterling ?" he looked at him with stern, but not quite unfriendly eyes.

"To be honest, Mr. Hensley, I think Nick sort of summed it all up already –except he didn't mention the rumours. You see, people are spreading rumours about Nick and me, just because Mr. Agee had a very wrong impression and felt it was mandatory to share it out loud. That's what the guy, I don't even know his name, made a remark about, and it was kind of offensive." While he spoke, Jeff looked around the room: Ms. McConnell was standing in front of the window and seemed to be more interested in what happened outside than what happened in the room, the principal sat behind his desk and Nick sat in the chair next to him and bit his lip while stared at the bookcases that covered the wall behind Hensley's desk.

"And in what direction do I have to think when you say _rumours_ ?"

Jeff shook head and started talking to tell the principal he couldn't say it out loud. "I can't-"

"They're sleeping with each other." Ms. McConnell blurted out, after which her face turned deep scarlet. "I- I didn't mean- I meant-" she stuttered. "I meant to say that those are the rumours. I heard two of my pupils talking about it during English. But they're just rumours for as far as I know."

Jeff had to stop himself from groaning._ Great, now even the teachers had heard. How long before the whole world knows ?_

Hensley raised an eyebrow and turned to the two boys. "Are they true ?"

A couple of seconds of silence had passed when Nick realized Jeff wasn't going to answer. Probably because it was too close to home. After all, they _did_ sleep together, but it was just sharing a bed, not the way Mr. Hensley meant. "No." Nick said, dropping his gaze.

The principal studied Nick's face for a second before turning to Jeff again. "Then why are you so offended ?"

Nick followed the man's gaze and tried to decode Jeff's expression. He opened his mouth to answer for Jeff, but Jeff suddenly spoke up. "He offended me and invaded my personal space."

"Offended you how ?" Mr. Hensley asked for clarification.

Jeff really didn't want to repeat the boy's words, but he knew he was going to have to if he wanted to avoid heavier punishment. "He said I had a nice butt and that Nick was a really lucky guy." He murmured.

The older man's eyebrows shot up again. "Please correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a compliment ?"

Jeff didn't even _think_ of answering this and he clenched onto the armrests of the chair while he responded, completely avoiding the question. "I'm just tired of everyone interfering with our lives. It's kind of disturbing when people think you're having- that you're .. that you're sleeping with your best friend."

"And you thought punching the boy in the face would help them change their minds ?" Mr. Hensley actually sounded irritated and slightly angry now. "You've only confirmed these rumours by this action."

It took a couple of second for the words to sink in, but then Jeff understood what the principal meant: not only had he been defensive about the rumours, he had also freaked out when someone touched his butt. They would all think he had reacted this strongly because he was sore.

_Well, shit_. Jeff cursed his impulsiveness, and let his hands sink in his hands. After rubbing his face with his hands, he did attempt to defend himself again. "He invaded my personal space, okay ? You can't blame me for freaking out !"

"That's true." The principal stated, after which he picked up a little pile of papers and started looking through them while he continued talking. "Usually I'd have you expelled for violence, but seeing the circumstances, I won't apply it this time. But of course, I can't let you go without any form of punishment. We have a zero-tolerance-harassment politicy after all, and what you've done doesn't fit in this school. You can choose from the following: kitchen, cafeteria or garden." The principal was referring to the three types of punishment. One of them was helping out in the kitchen, doing dishes, cooking and cleaning up. Another one was helping out in the cafeteria, which meant serving coffee, taking orders and cleaning tables and stuff. And then there was garden, which was basically helping out the gardeners with whatever they did.

Jeff's face had brightened up a bit, because he wasn't going to be expelled and that was relieving news, but on the other hand, he would have to have garden, kitchen or cafeteria-duty for an hour a day for the next week.

It didn't take long for him to make his choice. It wasn't going to be kitchen, because A) the kitchen lady would get her revenge, and that's the last thing he wanted, and B) no matter how strange this may sound because, well, he's Jeff, but he didn't really like dirty things, let alone cleaning someone else's dirt up, and that automatically shut out the cafeteria as well. "I'll have garden, please."

Hensley wrote it down on one of the many papers on his desk (seriously, how did he know which paper to write on, and how did he manage to organize them ?), and put it into a [map]. "Noted." He stated before adding "But if this happens again-" Mr. Hensley gave him a stern look. "I will not hesitate to send you home, _for_ _good_."

"Of course," Jeff said politely. "Thank you, sir." He gave a small nod in the man's direction before getting up on his feet and walking out of the office, just hearing the first part of Nick's words: "Err, sir ? May I make a request ?"

But Jeff didn't care about Nick right now, his mind was too busy with thinking about how stupid he was and how much he had screwed up this time. It was a good thing tomorrow was Saturday, and if they kept a low profile during the weekend, everyone would've forgotten about the rumours by Monday. Hopefully.

When he reached the corridor their room was in, Nick caught up on him. Neither of them could be bothered to go to the last twenty minutes of French.

Nick didn't say a word. When Jeff looked to the right to check if it really was Nick who was walking next to him (he was quite it was, the pace of his walking and the sound of the shoes had pretty much given him away, but you never know), Nick just gave him a sad, yet compassionate smile.

Jeff gave a small smile back before opening their door, kicking off his shoes, and sitting down on his bed with his back against the wall so he could overlook the room and study Nick's actions.

When he saw Nick opening his mouth to say something, Jeff cut him off before Nick had make a sound. "I don't want to talk about it."

Nick looked surprised, but accepted Jeff's words, closed his mouth and remained silent.

A couple of seconds of awkward silence passed before he walked over to Jeff's bed, sat down next to him, and carefully wrapped his arms around him. He held him tight and rested his head on the blonde's shoulder.

Jeff tilted his head to the right and rested it head against Nick's while he breathed in slowly.

This was one of the reasons he loved Nick: No matter what you had done, or how stupid you'd been, he'd still care about you. The guy was just too sweet for his own good.

Once again, he cursed himself for what he'd done earlier, but also for the butterflies that seemed to invade his stomach again.

He wanted to tell Nick so bad. He just wanted to lay it all on the line so he wouldn't have to hide things from him anymore. But he couldn't. He was just too afraid of what Nick's reaction would be, because even though he knew Nick so well, he wasn't sure how he'd react. Nick would probably still care about him, even though he didn't feel the same way back, and it'd probably kill Jeff even more.

He felt flames coming up inside of him and he wasn't sure if they were from frustration, desperation or anger, but whatever reason it was, butterflies on fire are even worse, and Jeff knew this.

Why did he have to fall in love with his best friend ? Why couldn't it have been Thad or Louis or something ? Of all people, why did it have to be _Nick_ ?

He sighed again and closed his eyes. He knew exactly why it was Nick. It was because of his stupid, gorgeous smile, his stupid, cute face, his stupid, _stupid_ soft hair, his even more stupider eyes and his even stupider than stupidest, perfect and soft lips, and most of all because of his awfully perfect personality-

As soon as Jeff realized what we was thinking about, he shoved the thoughts aside and pressed his lips together.

He shouldn't be thinking about Nick, he should be thinking about what happened earlier that day. About what exactly happened, and why he reacted so strongly.

It wasn't only because his personal space had been invaded, he would never have punched someone for that. It had to be something about that remark. Something specific about that remark, but he couldn't figure out what. What was it that made this remark different from the others they had heard last couple of days ? Was it the combination of the remark and touching maybe ? Or was it too close to home ?

Jeff felt the anger boiling up inside of him again, and it wouldn't take long for his mind to bring up all the bad stuff again. He firmly squeezed his eyes shut and tried his hardest to think about something else, something positive. But somehow, every happy thought seemed to involve Nick, and that brought him back to the stuff he wanted to forget about. Like how he had screwed up really bad this time. He was lucky he hadn't been sent home yet.

He was brought back to reality when he felt Nick shifting: the dark haired boy had released him from his embrace.

_Yeah, of course._ Jeff thought, _you're right to move away from me. Last time I got angry, I gave someone a nosebleed –if not worse. You'll never know, it could happen to you too._

But Nick hadn't moved away to get up and flee before Jeff might punch him. In the first place because he was actually pretty sure Jeff'd never punch him, and secondly because fleeing wasn't going to help.

The only reason Nick had released Jeff, was so he could free his hands and use them.

Jeff was surprised when he felt Nick's hands closing over his fists –which he hadn't even been aware of clenching them, up until now.

Nick let out a low hushing sound, and he felt Jeff's hands relax while he looked him in the eyes.

This was one of those things Nick did that Jeff admired and loved very much. Sometimes, Nick could say more with one look, one gesture or one expression, without words. He would just give you this feeling that started a train of thoughts in your head, and it stopped at the words Nick could've said. But Nick didn't need to say them, and he never did. Letting people figure it out was a better way to do it because without words, you can't say anything stupid that might give people the wrong impression, but you can still let them feel what you're trying to say.

Jeff couldn't find the right words for what Nick was telling him now either, but it was soothing and relaxing, and it made him feel better right away.

His lips formed a small smile and he whispered Nick a _thank you_.

Nick's eyes sparkled for a second before they turned serious.

"What's wrong ?" Jeff asked worriedly.

Nick seemed to have forgotten about the real world for a second, because when Jeff spoke, he jumped a little. "Huh ? No, there's nothing wrong, don't worry ! It's just- Can I tell you something ?" he said carefully.

For some reason Jeff got really nervous about this. He didn't know why, but he felt there were so many secrets between them now, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know all of them. What if Nick had found out about his crush on him ? What if he didn't mean the words he whispered to him last night when he was snuggling up against him ? What if he only meant them platonically ? And –although it seemed very unlikely to Jeff, what if he actually _had_ meant them ? "Sure." He said, forcing the corners of his mouth to remain upwards.

"Well," Nick started, "you probably haven't forgotten about my 'experiment' earlier this week, and I know it's made things so much more complicated and I probably never should've done it in the first place, and in the second place I should've thought it through- no, let me finish," he held up one hand as gesture to be silent, because Jeff had opened his mouth and was about to say something, and Nick was pretty sure it was going to be something in the direction of '_no, it's not your fault, it's alright_', because he knew it wasn't alright and Jeff hated him for kissing him. "but I wanted to tell you that it hasn't been in vain. I helped me find out who I really was. Basically, what I'm trying to tell you is, well, I like guys. I think. No, I'm actually sure about it, I do most definitely like guys the way I should like girls, but I'm still uncomfortable saying them out loud, especially in front of the guy I kissed, but you're my best friend and I wanted you to know that even though we're having a hard time now, it has somehow accomplished something, and that we can still trust each other, okay ?"

First Jeff's nervousness faded and excitement showed up, because now Nick liked guys, he actually had a shot with him ! But then other feelings replaced the excitement. He'd never have a chance with Nick even though he was gay, he was his best friend for goodness sake, he didn't like him. He'd only kissed him because he was the only person he could trust with something like this.

"Jeff ?" Nick sounded slightly panicked. "Please, say something."

Jeff rested his gaze on Nick's face again. "Something." He said with a smirk, gaining one of Nick's friendly punches in the arm. "No, but seriously, it's alright. More than alright actually." After these last words, Jeff shut up immediately, tried not to show the meaning of those words on his face, and waited for Nick's reaction –it's not like there was anything else he could do.

Nick frowned and raised an eyebrow, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions the way his heart had just jumped up in his chest, so he answered with something neutrally. "Why is that more than alright ?"

"Well, I'm just really happy you've finally 'found yourself'." Jeff nodded a bit to make his words more convincing. "Really, I am ! So .. are you going to tell anyone else, or .. ?"

Nick hadn't really thought about that yet. "I don't know .. Should I ? Maybe my parents ? I was planning on skyping with them after dinner anyway, so I could tell them." He paused a second and bit his lip. ".. should I ? Is it not too early ? I mean, I've only just figured it out myself, but on the other hand, I'm pretty sure, so I might as well tell them now.."

"I say go for it."

"Really ?"

"Totally. But it's your own decision so don't you dare to blame me if it goes wrong ! I don't think your parents would have a problem with it –not that I know your parents that well, I think I've met them once or twice, but they shouldn't have a problem with it: they're your parents, and they're supposed to love you no matter what." Jeff didn't know where all these words came from. Well, they obviously came from his heart, but he had no idea why he was this open so suddenly. The whole mood between Nick and him seemed to have turned around.

".. I suppose so, yeah." Nick slowly pulled back his hands from Jeff's –he hadn't realized he had been squeezing them nervously during their conversation, but Jeff suddenly grabbed them again and held them as if he were scared Nick would disappear if he didn't.

"No, wait! Please don't let this conversation be over yet !" Jeff knew he was raising the tension again, but he had to know. "I have some questions."

Nick tried to remain calm and breathed in slowly. "Go ahead."

"I know I'm going to regret asking this, but what did you mean yesterday when you said you loved me ? Did you even mean it at all ? Why did you run away, and why have we still not talked about any of the stuff going on between us, and what are we going to do ? Are we even going to talk about it anymore ?" Jeff actually wanted to ask Nick if he loved him. It was the first thing he wanted to know, but if Nick didn't love him, the answer would be too painful, and if Nick wasn't sure, things would get even more awkward and Nick'd know Jeff had a crush on him, because he why would he ask him otherwise ? And if Nick said yes, then what would happen ?

So he just asked a couple of other questions that had been haunting him for the last couple of days, but he immediately regretted asking them because he could see in Nick's eyes that he didn't really want to answer him. He had screwed up again, he had brought back the awkward tension. A shame, he had really enjoyed the openness.

Nick took a deep breath before responding. "To be honest, Jeff, I-" _I love you_. He wanted to say it so bad, but he simply couldn't get his lips to form the words. He looked up to catch Jeff's gaze, but he immediately lowered his eyes again. He couldn't look at Jeff when he was talking about this. He didn't want to look him in the eye. Not because he was scared of what he might see there, but because he knew that his own eyes might give him away. Even though he had had a lot of practice hiding his feelings last couple of days, he knew his eyes could still be like an open book sometimes. "I don't really know. I don't know what my feelings are doing. Don't get me wrong, I love you, I really do, you've been my best friend for years and I don't know what I'd do without you, but I'm just a mess right now, and finding out I'm gay and having all these rumours going round makes it even more complicated, and I don't know what I really feel anymore, or what is made up by others. I don't know how to feel, and I can't find the lines between my emotions anymore."

Jeff studied Nick's face and thought about these words for a while. They weren't that bad, at least Nick hadn't denied, but he hadn't confirmed anything either.

"I'm really sorry for putting you through all of this, Jeff. I wish I could turn back time. I never meant to burden you with any of this !" Nick had to apologize, he just couldn't help himself. He felt so bad.

"Don't even think of turning back time. This is what happened, and somehow, we'll get through this and figure it out, okay ?" The puppy in Jeff was showing again –especially in his eyes, but Nick refused to look at them. "Okay ?" Jeff repeated, mentally forcing Nick to look him in the eye and promise.

"Okay." Nick smiled a small smile. "You're right." He was relieved when Jeff wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him close. At least Jeff still managed to love him _somehow_. "I just don't know how." He whispered in Jeff's shoulder.

Jeff pulled him a little bit closer as response.

When he pulled back after a couple of seconds, he had to fight the urge to give Nick a peck on the cheek. He had seen it happen in movies and TV shows so many times, and it always ended well. But this was real life, not a show.

None of the boys really knew where to look or what to do know, and an awkward silence filled the room for a little while.

"By the way, are we still going to Louis' party ?" Nick asked to break the tension.

Jeff had totally forgotten about the party. "Uhm, sure. Why not ? It might be nice to get our minds off things and have a bit of fun, right ?"

Nick nodded. "Exactly what I was thinking." He agreed. "I'll just go and tell Louis," he glanced at his watch: almost 4 PM. "I'll be back somewhere before dinner."

He left the room and while he was wandered through the corridors, he realized they were really empty. Almost scary empty. But it was weekend after all, so most of the students were out partying already, or they had headed home.

The small amount of students that passed him in the corridors, still rested their eyes on Nick longer than he was comfortable with, but at least they didn't say anything.

He needed to go to the left, walk past the common room, and from there it was only a matter of walking to the end of the corridor to find Louis' room.

When he was about to walk around the corner, Wes appeared and almost walked into him: he was reading some papers he was holding in his hands. "Oh, I'm so sorry ! I didn't mean to- oh, hey Nick." He quickly put the papers down and stared at Nick with weird and hesitant look in his eyes.

"Is there something wrong ?" Nick asked, and blinked in confusion while he tried to figure out what it could be.

"Well, I- I didn't mean to- I never would've-" Wes wasn't really stuttering, but he just broke off his sentences because he realized with every sentence that it wasn't really what he wanted to say. "I'm so sorry for finding this." He held the papers in front of Nick's face.

Nick frowned and looked at them. He had no idea what the papers were. "Uhm, should I-" his heart jumped and stopped when he recognized the paper and the writing on it- _his_ writing. Wes was holding up the papers on which Nick had written out all of his feelings earlier today. "Where'd you get that ?" he managed to ask before a big lump blocked his throat.


	7. Chapter 7

**Oh my gosh, I'm so SO sorry ! I know I say that every time, but I really _really_ didn't mean for it to take so long ! It's just .. Life got in the way and then I had writersblock and UGH. Again, I'm so sorry ! But this is sort of a long chapter, so I hope that makes up for it a little bit ;D Also, the new chapter won't take this long, I _promise_.**

**Anyways, I'm just going to say this again: first of all you should follow Lizzie, my lovely beta, on Tumblr (she's _drunkthad_), and secondly, maybe you could check out jeffersandnickers on Tumblr, it's a blog I made in addition to this fanfic (;**

**Blegh, I'm rambling. Sorry ! I hope you enjoy this chapter (:**

* * *

><p>Jeff knew Nick wasn't a fast walker. He also knew he always kept on chatting to everyone he passed, so it'd probably take a while before Nick was back.<p>

He wanted to take a shower before going to the party, but Nick always occupied the bathroom for hours before he went out, so he might as well take a shower now Nick wasn't here.

He turned on the shower and let the warm water fall on his hair and stream down his body. He shivered slightly at the change of temperature, but relaxed right after. It was nice to be able to relax.

So much had happened lately, he couldn't think of a moment after the kiss he had been relaxed -apart from being unconscious, and even then he wasn't able to relax sometimes. He hadn't expected differently right after the kiss, he knew certain things would change and become weird, but he never expected it to be this bad.

Maybe it was his own fault, he was the one who kept screwing everything up. He had wanted to pretend like nothing happened, but he couldn't even keep that act up for an hour. Then he decided he was going to be calm about everything and to be there for Nick and to get through all of this, but he messed everything up by freaking out and punching someone in the face. When had he become so violent ? And when had Nick become so quiet ? It was like the roles were reversed.

Whatever he did or wanted to do: it always went wrong. But he couldn't screw up this evening. This was supposed to be a fun night out, and he was going to try his hardest to make the best of it –but no drinks for him tonight. He didn't want to risk getting tipsy or drunk, because he had no idea what he'd do if he got drunk. He didn't even want to imagine the things he might blurt out ..

He shivered at the thought. That couldn't happen. He had to stay sober tonight.

* * *

><p>In one of the corridors of Dalton, Nick was staring at Wes nervously, waiting for him to answer.<p>

Wes cleared his throat shortly before answering. "I found it in the library. I was copying notes from Thad, and the waste paper-bin was right next to me, and it caught my eye because the paper is kind of uncommon, so I picked it up and I recognized the handwriting from somewhere, but I couldn't recall where from. Then I started reading, and I realized it was yours."

Being in shock-state, it took Nick a couple of seconds to process Wes' words. "Has- has Thad read them too ?"

Wes shook his head. "Thad wasn't there. I just borrowed his notebook for a little while. And just so you know, I would never tell anyone, okay ? You can trust me. And if you ever need to talk about it with someone –who isn't Jeff, I'd be glad to listen, okay ? Assuming what you've written down is true, of course. It's all true, right ?" he studied Nick's face while he waited for confirmation.

Nick nodded. "Yes-" he realized he sounded hoarse and cleared his throat. "Yes, it's true." He could've just denied it, but he was tired of denying his feelings for Jeff. He had to do it so many times lately, and it stung every time he had to, and he knew it hurt Jeff too. He could see it in his eyes whenever he had denied anything going on between them. Nick understood though. It's sort of insulting when your best friend acts like it's terrible people think of you as an couple.

He gave his head a short shake to wake up from his thoughts, and he looked up at Wes again. "But I don't want to talk about it. Thanks for the offer though."

"Alright. I'm not forcing you into anything. Take all the time you need.." Wes trailed off, and the expression on his face changed.

"What is it ?" Nick asked concerned. "Is this the part where you judge me now, or .. ?"

"I'm not judging anyone, Nick. I'm not like that, you know that." Wes' expression turned a bit harder, just a tiny bit. "I just can't believe you kept this from me, from _us_, your friends. You didn't even tell _one_ person. Does that show how much you trust us ?"

Oh, right. This was the part where the friend got upset for keeping him out. Great. Well, Nick could do that too, you know. "This has nothing to do with _trust_, Wesley." He narrowed his eyes and looked Wes in the eye.

Wes looked startled at the sound of his full name being pronounced by one of his friends. No-one ever called him Wesley, not even the teachers. They all went with Wes.

"I just don't know what to think of it myself, and I wanted to figure that out first before I told anyone and started taking over their opinions on this." Nick was making wild gestures with his arms and started talking really fast. "Also, this secret's not only mine, it's also Jeff's. So next time you judge," he pointed and angry finger at Wes' chest, "think about it first. This is not like that time you were drunk and slept with Thad while you were dating Chelsea. Actually, it's nothing like that at all. This is a lot more than that, and if this screws up, it'll not only ruin _me_, it'll also ruin Jeff, our _whole_ group of friends, and probably the Warblers too. So don't you _dare_ to tell me what to do and who to tell. You finding out is worse enough." Nick spit out. He really had no idea where it came from, and although he was still staring angrily at Wes, he was relieved it was out and didn't regret a word he had said.

Wes was overwhelmed by Nick's intense rant, but he had to try his best to not burst out in laughter. The sight of a short, cute boy raging like that, was kind of hilarious to him. Maybe the fact he was relieved Nick's old self hadn't faded completely, had something to do with it too.

He coughed and put one hand on Nick's shoulder. "Calm down, little angry bird, and take your papers back." He wanted to tell Nick a billion a things, like how he should really tell Jeff, or at least talk to him about a part of it, or how he should tell some of his friends and actually have a conversation about it, because Nick clearly needed one, but right now, it didn't seem like a good time to tell Nick what to do, so he just shoved the papers in Nick's hands.

Nick was surprised by this reaction, and did as he was told –at least, the calm down part, but he refused to take the papers. "I can't take them with me. Jeff can never read them. If I take them, the chances he finds them are high, and if he finds them, I'm pretty sure he'd read them –no offense, I trust him, but I'd probably do the same if I didn't know what was written on the papers." He shoved the papers back into Wes' hands. "You take them."

Wes frowned. "I think you've forgotten I'm rooming with _Thad_."

"No, I know that. But I trust you now."

He raised an eyebrow and wondered if Nick had lost his mind –which could quite possibly be the case. "You know Thad's not going to be able to keep his mouth shut if he were to ever find them, right ?"

"Then make sure he doesn't find them." Nick demanded.

Wes frowned again, but took the papers, folded them up and put them in his pocket. "I'll try my best, but don't you dare to hold me responsible for it if he finds them !"

Nick simply shrugged as response.

"Anyway," Wes straightened his back and put his hand on Nick's shoulder again, causing Nick to stare at his hand awkwardly. "Gotta run: Thad's waiting for his notes. Just take it easy, don't do anything stupid again, and good luck with .. whatever you were going to do ?"

"I was going to .." That was a good question of Wes'. He had completely forgotten what he was going to do. Oh, of course, he was on his way to Louis. "I was just going to Louis to tell him we'd be joining the party, so .." he trailed off because he didn't really know what to say anymore. "See you later." A simple line like this one would be fine to end this conversation, right ?

He turned around and started walking, but he heard a small cough from behind him, and he turned around on his toes to find out was he was doing wrong this time. He shot Wes a questioning look.

"Louis' is that way." He gave a short nod in the opposite direction Nick had been walking in.

"Oh.. Yes, of course." Nick felt his cheeks getting hot, and he brushed past Wes –whose smirk didn't go unnoticed by Nick.

* * *

><p>When he arrived at his dorm after telling Louis he and Jeff were coming to his party, the sound of a running shower greeted him, and he found the door of the bathroom locked. Jeff never locked the bathroom door, and nor did Nick. A ton of horror images started running through his head, but he pushed them aside because there were no killers in Dalton (for as far as he knew) and Jeff'd never commit suicide, so there was nothing to worry about, right ?<p>

Just to make sure Jeff was alright, he knocked on the door and called his name. When he didn't get a response, he knocked harder and practically yelled his name, trying his hardest to push aside the horror scenarios that had invaded his mind again. He heard the streaming of the water make place for bare feet on the bathroom floor.

"I'll be out in a second !" came Jeff's hastily reply, followed by the sound of someone grabbing a towel.

Oh, so now Jeff was embarrassed to be naked in front of him ? When did that happen ? Nick felt a sting in his chest. Well, that was painful. He had to admit, he didn't know what he'd do if he were in Jeff's situation, but they had never been weird about it, so why did they have to be now ? Did everything have to be awkward because of that kiss ? Or was it that I told him I like guys ? No, that just wasn't Jeff. He wouldn't freak out about this because Nick told him he liked guys, right ? Or would he .. ?

For some reason, he got really irritated by the thought, and he knocked on the door again.

"I told you: I'll be out in a second !"

Nick could still hear the sound of a towel being rubbed on skin and shuffling of bare feet on the tiles. "Why won't you just open the door ?" He raised his voice a little and leaned with his forehead against the bathroom door.

"Why ? Do you have to go to the bathroom ?"

Jeff's voice had muted a little and Nick assumed he was either toweling his hair or pulling a shirt over his head. "No." he said, not even trying to hide the irritation in his voice.

"Well, then why should I open door ?" Jeff started to sound confused and slightly irritated too, and Nick could practically hear him frown.

Nick didn't know how to respond to this and tried to think of an answer to shoot back, but after some more shuffling in the bathroom, the door suddenly opened and Nick almost fell inside, but he was able to restore his balance just in time. "What are you doing ?" Jeff's voice was monotone, and his eyebrows were knitted together in a frown. And he was fully clothed: jeans, shirt and a sweater.

Nick felt a pang in his chest. So now even underwear was too awkward. Ouch. He avoided Jeff's question and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I could ask you the same thing." He put on a bitch-face and looked Jeff in the eye.

Jeff seemed surprised and raised an eyebrow before brushing past Nick and walking over to his bed to fold his Dalton uniform. "You could, but that wouldn't be of much use because you can see exactly what I'm doing." He replied coolly.

"Yeah- well, same answer to your question then." Nick half stuttered while his gaze didn't let go of Jeff for a second.

The blonde frowned again and piled his pants up on top of his blazer while he replied. "That doesn't make any sense, Nick. I was showering, toweling and clothing myself –which are completely common actions, while you were leaning with your head against the bathroom door. Don't you think it's kind of creepy ?" Little did he know that this choice of words was kind of unfortunate.

"Aha !" Nick looked at Jeff accusingly. "So you _do_ think I am creepy ?"

"Well, yeah." His voice had a sassy _duhh_-tune in it. "What would you do if you just came out of the shower and someone appears to be eaves dropping on you ? But the way you uttered that comment, I assume you meant it differently." He turned to Nick. "So tell me: what did I do wrong this time ?"

Nick wrinkled his nose a little while he tried to think of a good way to get everything he wanted to say –or yell, but he couldn't think of anything good. "I think it's something _I_ did wrong."

Jeff's eyebrows shot up in surprise again. He had no idea what happened that changed Nick's mood, but he hadn't seen it coming. "Please, do tell."

"For starters, apparently telling you I like guys was a very bad move." Nick raised his voice and was almost yelling. "And then there's the part where I trusted you, that was completely wrong and stupid too, because it turns out you're just one of those jerks who pretended to be my best friend but when I tell them something personal, they just drop out and pretend I don't exist. I really thought you were different Jeff, that's all. So I'm sorry, my bad." There. It was out. He took a deep breath and snorted scornfully.

Okay. Jeff wouldn't have seen that coming in a million years. His jaw dropped and almost hit the floor, and the room was completely silent for a couple of seconds.

Then the sound of a loud slap filled the room, and Nick clutched his hands on his left cheek while he stared at Jeff with a look of horror, shock and surprise. "Where did you that for ?" the pitch of his voice raised with almost an octave, and his eyes were still wide open in shock.

"Are you _completely_ out of your mind ?" Although Jeff's voice was loud, it was trembling and he didn't sound angry. "Why would you even _think_-" he shook his head softly and looked up to the ceiling to avoid Nick's gaze.

It wasn't that Jeff had never hit him before, because they slapped each other every now and then–when it was necessary because the other was being idiotic or unreasonable, but Jeff had never looked so hurt before. Nick bit his lip and softly rubbed his cheek while he tried to think of something he could say to make this right. Jeff was right, why would he even think Jeff was like one of those jerks from his old school ? "I.. I'm sorry." Was all he could come up with.

Jeff replied after a couple of second of silence. "So am I."

Nick shook his head softly. "No, it's alright. I deserved it." He said.

Jeff sighed. "Well.. yeah, you did, but that's no reason for actually doing it." He lowered his eyes to try if he could look Nick in the eye. "Did it really hurt ?"

"No, I'll be fine. Can we just forget about this and have dinner in the cafeteria ?" he really wanted to tell Jeff how sorry he was, how he felt so ashamed he even dared to think of Jeff as this complete jerk, how he felt like a complete idiot and hypocrite to hurt Jeff because he thought Jeff was judging him, while Nick was the one who was judging here, but he was afraid of what he might blurt out, so he decided to not mention any of it.

Jeff nodded and placed a hand on Nick's shoulder to lead him towards the door. "Of course, let's go."

* * *

><p>The walk to the cafeteria was silent and awkward because none of the boys really knew what to say. They weren't really mad at each other, both of them were some sort of disappointed in Nick, Jeff a little less than Nick himself, but neither of them felt like talking about it, so they decided to keep their mouths shut.<p>

When they arrived in the cafeteria, they took their plates with food and joined their friends at one of the many round tables in the room.

Lewis, Thad, David and Trent said hi to their friends, Wes had just taken a bite from his food so he just hummed something, and Flint –who had just taken a bite too, greeted them excitedly with a wide smile that made both of the boys turn their heads away in disgust. They had seen and were used to a lot of disgusting things, but this was just too much.

Nick started to organize his food –one of his OCD-like habits, and protested against Flint's behavior just a couple of second earlier. "Oh gosh- Flint, manners ! Don't you have any ?" when Flint was about to interrupt his chewing to answer, Nick glared daggers at him before he got the chance to answer.

"So, I heard you hit him real bad, huh ?" Wes glared at Jeff to make sure he understood the question was meant for him.

Jeff felt his face getting cold and he turned to Nick. "How can you possibly know that ?" he whispered in the shorter boy's ear.

Nick cleared his throat before answering and sending an awkward look in Wes' direction. "I think he's talking about the boy earlier today, Jeff."

"Oh." The colour returned to Jeff's face again. "Well, yeah. I gave him a nosebleed. But I'm not going to brag about it, I didn't mean to hit him at all, but I couldn't really control myself –which you may have noticed." He said while he continued to shove the food around on the plate. He didn't really feel like eating.

"Hm-" Thad quickly swallowed his food before he continued talking. "Maybe you should join the Dalton fight club."

Jeff narrowed his eyes a bit. "No, thanks."

"I don't think that'd be a good idea, Thad," Flint interfered. "He wouldn't be allowed to talk about it, and you know he can't keep anything from Nick." He said, winking at Nick –who glared daggers at him once again, but Flint couldn't say if it was because of his remark, or because he was talking with food in his mouth again.

"Well," Thad swallowed his food down again. "They could just _both_ join !"

"No, I don't like fighting that much. And nor does Jeff, he doesn't just hit people without reason." Nick spoke up.

Jeff glared at Nick curiously, a bit surprised by his reply. The others would think Nick's remark was about the guy Jeff had punched earlier today, that he wanted to to create some sympathy for Jeff's action, but Jeff knew this was about his action a bit earlier –which he still felt a bit bad about, but it was necessary, right ?

Flint groaned. "Gosh, seriously ? Stop it with the eye-fucking, I'm trying to have dinner here !"

"Shut up, Flint. We're not eye-fucking." Jeff grumbled while he dropped his gaze and stared at his food again. "And before you ask: no, we're not fucking in any other way either." He added quickly, although his words weren't completely truthful: they were sort of fucking -with each other's (or their own) minds and feelings that is, don't get the wrong impression.

"N'aww, you're taking all the fun out of it for me !" Flint pouted.

David sighed and rolled with his eyes. "That's probably the point. I can imagine they want you to stop making such annoying comments all the time."

Jeff was quite grateful for David's remark and he gave a small grateful nod in David's direction.

"Well," Flint spoke up again, "If you want me to stop, you're going to have to stop being so _hetero_ for each other." The sarcasm almost literally dripped from his voice. The annoyed looks he got from his friends didn't stop him from going further. "No, but really ! Just look at them ! They love each other more than food ! And even when they're having a bit of a fight, they still have more chemistry than David and his girlfriend !"

Wes poked him firmly between the ribs and gave him a stern look. "_Shut_ _up_, Flint !"

"Oi !" said an offended David at the same time.

"And who says we're even having a fight ?" Nick frowned and shook his head softly.

Wes turned his to Nick for a second before he turned back to Flint. "Yeah, who says they're having a fight ?"

Flint seemed surprised by this. "You're kidding me, right ?" he studied the faces of the other boys around the table who were glaring questioning at him. "You really don't notice, do you ?" he uttered, still sounding disbelieving.

"Well, _duhh_. Not everyone spends their life observing Three and Six and their chemistry- no offense guys, but you really do have some." Lewis said while he shrugged slightly apologetic.

Nick sighed. Did every conversation have to be about him and Jeff ? "Okay, just shut up, everyone."

For a couple of seconds, everyone at the table was completely silent.

"But Flint was right," Trent stated, breaking the silence. "You were making googley eyes at each other."

"Yes, thank you, _Trent_." Nick said while he shot him a look that mentally forced Trent to keep his mouth shut. "But I thought we agreed to shut up."

"But-" was all Flint managed to get out before Wes cut him off.

"He said _shut_ _up_ !" Wes said loudly, almost yelling.

Flint looked a bit taken back and he blinked a couple of times before pouting. "Alright, alright. There's no need to yell at me."

Jeff snickered at this, but quickly straightened his face again. At the same time, he was amazed by the fact that Flint actually listened to Wes. Maybe he should hang out with the gavel-owner more –when Thad wasn't around to be protective of his .. What where they anyway ? Not boyfriends, that's for sure. They did screw around with each other every now and then, but they never held hands or kissed (without it turning into a heated, gross to look at make-out scene) in public and they didn't act like boyfriends at all. They could just be fuck buddies, but Jeff didn't believe this. There was definitely chemistry between them, but they were just best friends. Sort of like him and Nick –without the sleeping with each other part, when you think about it. The other boys never seemed awkward towards each other about it though. Okay, maybe they were not so similar to Nick and him.

Jeff sighed and stopped playing with his food. "I'm not hungry. I'll be in my room if anyone needs me." He interrupted the conversation he had no idea was being held because he had blocked it out completely.

He threw his food in the trashcan on his way to his dorm, and he shuffled back to his room. He had no idea what he was going to do now, so he just flopped down on his bed and lay there until Nick came in.

The dark haired boy greeted him while he ran closed the door behind him. "Hey."

"Mmmph." Murmured Jeff in his pillow –he was too lazy to lift his head.

Nick walked over to Jeff and sat down on the edge of his bed. "Are you okay ?"

Jeff rolled with his eyes before sitting up. "Why wouldn't I be ?" Wrong question.

"Well, for starters, you haven't eaten and you look depressed, not even to start about everything that happened last couple of days-"

Jeff leant with his forehead in his hand before he interrupted his friend and made an awkward wave with his hand. "Yeah, yeah, okay. I get it. But I'm fine, really."

Nick didn't seem convinced and gave him a look. "You don't really think I believe that, do you ?"

The blond lowered his gaze and studied his hands. Why did Nick always know him better than Jeff did himself ? And why did Nick always want to know what was wrong ? He had always appreciated Nick's caring personality, but now Nick was one of his problems, it started to get annoying.

"You're not still upset about the slap, are you ?" when Nick didn't get a reply, he nudged the shoulder of boy next to him. "Are you ? Because in that case you have to stop worrying about it: I already told you I deserved it, and I'm really sorry for thinking that low of you. I meant that, okay ?"

"Yeah." Jeff replied softly.

"Here, have a cookie. You need to eat something, otherwise you won't survive the night." Nick grabbed Jeff's hand to put a chocolate cookie in it. "Also, could you maybe do me a favor and leave the dorm for a little while ? I'm planning on telling my parents in a couple of minutes about … you know. I hope you understand I would appreciate some privacy –no offense, really ! But, you know .."

Jeff glared at the cookie in his hand for a couple of second before he got up to his feet. "Yeah, sure. No problem, I totally understand." He studied Nick's face and noticed his friend was nervous. "Don't worry, it will be fine. They're your _parents_, they love you." He placed one hand on Nick's knee –a gesture he automatically made when he tried to reassure someone, but this time it affected his own nerves. He stared at his hand resting on Nick's knee. Oh my goodness. His hand was resting on Nick's knee. _His_ hand was resting on _Nick's_ knee. He was so close to-

"Thanks." Nick interrupted Jeff's thoughts by speaking up, and glaring and smiling at him.

A soft, reassuring smile played on Jeff's lips before he turned around and walked towards the door, clenching the cookie in his hand. He cursed himself for being a teenager with an overdose of hormones, and once more for being in love with his freaking roommate and best friend.

"Hey Jeff ?"

Jeff turned around to face Nick.

"If you really don't want to go, you can stay here if you want ?" Nick had no idea why he said this, but Jeff had this strange look in his eyes, and he felt like it had something to do with him asking the blond to leave. "I could tell them some other time, too, you know."

Jeff smiled a small smile again. "Don't be silly. I'll be fine."

And with those words, Jeff left the dorm.

Nick stared puzzled at the closed door for a second, he had no idea what was going on with Jeff, but it was strange. But everything was strange nowadays, it was his own fault, he was so stupid to kiss Jeff .. He took a deep breath and sighed before getting up and turning on his computer.

Skype automatically popped up, and he waited nervously for his parents to come online –he was a couple of minutes early. He shouldn't be this nervous. Jeff was right, they were his parents and they loved him. The only problem was that he had no idea how his parents would react, because they never talked about stuff like this. He'd rather knowing his parents would be mad at him than this, the terrible tension and the hope deep inside of him that might be crushed.

When the notification his parents were online appeared in the bottom right corner, he jumped a little before he got himself together. This was it.

* * *

><p><strong>That was it, end of the chapter. I hope you were able to enjoy my little writing, and I love you so much for all the lovely feedback ! <strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Yay ! New chapter ! This one didn't take that long, fortunately (: It's not as long as the other ones, but oh well ;D**

**I'd like to thank all of you once again for reading this (I seriously have no idea why there are so many of you) and all the lovely feedback, I appreciate it very much !**

**Oh, and don't forget to follow my beta Lizzie on Tumblr, she's _drunkthad_ on there ! (:**

**Next chapter might take a while because there's some stuff happening I need to have written out as perfectly as I can otherwise it won't make sense, but I'll try my best to get it up as quickly as possible !**

**And without further ado, here's the new chapter:**

* * *

><p>For a couple of minutes, Nick had been chatting with his parents about school, grades, the food at Dalton and the life back home, awaiting the right moment to smoothly tell them without too much emphasis, but he still hadn't found the right moment yet and he wondered if it was ever going to come. He shuffled nervously on his chair, and he just hoped his parents didn't notice his odd behavior.<p>

Maybe telling them wasn't such a good idea after all .. Maybe he should just wait until he got a boyfriend –if he ever got one, he was pretty sure that it was going to take a while to get over Jeff when he rejected him (yes, _when_. Nick was pretty sure it was going to happen one day).

But then Jeff's words echoed in his head. _It will be fine. They're your _parents_, they love you._

Nick scraped up the tiny bits of courage he had left, and cleared his throat. "Also, I've got something I want you to know." He felt his throat was already squeezing shut, and he was barely able to speak.

"Oh my gosh, don't tell me you lost your virginity !" his mother tried to sound stern and disapproving, but she couldn't hide her excitement. "I don't even know if you have a girlfriend .. It wasn't just some one night stand, was it ?"

"Gosh, mom, no !" thank goodness Jeff wasn't here. He wouldn't have been able to keep in his laughter.

His father glared daggers at his wife who shrugged and mouthed a _sorry_ to Nick. "Sorry about your mother, you know how she is. Anyway, what is it you want to tell us ?"

"Well, I.. I err .." He couldn't get the words out and he cursed his nervousness. Why was he even nervous ? They were his parents and they loved him, right ? "Well .. recently I found out .. I- I think I might like guys." As soon as the words were out, Nick felt relieved and more confident. "Actually I don't just think so, I'm sure. I'm gay." He added quickly.

A couple of seconds passed in silence, and Nick stared at his screen to observe his parents reactions, and he started getting nervous again because neither of them moved.

"Please, say something." He almost whispered.

* * *

><p>Jeff wandered through the halls of Dalton, not really knowing where to go. Besides Nick, no-one in their group of friends was even nearly as close to him as Nick was (maybe Thad and Wes were the closest because they had the room next to Jeff and Nick's, but from the arguing he heard from inside, he assumed they were fighting over outfits for tonight, and he didn't want to interrupt that) and if he suddenly went to see them now, it would seem like Jeff was desperate without Nick.<p>

That was basically what was happening, because Jeff really didn't know what to do, but he refused to believe this thought or let anyone find out about it, so he just kept on wondering aimlessly through the corridors in the dorms. Sometimes he heard roommates yelling at each other or laughing together, and it made him miss Nick. And once or twice, he heard moans and dirty language coming from one of the rooms, and he passed as fast as he could, trying to hold in his laughter.

And then there were those students who were still packing, or had just packed, and left their door open, and Jeff couldn't resist glancing inside, but when some guy noticed Jeff staring, he shot the blond a look and Jeff decided that if he really wanted to take a look inside, he should do it carefully and unnoticed.

And so he did. Until he came across a room with a familiar person inside. He subconsciously stopped and stared inside for a bit longer.

The boy inside was sitting on his bed, holding a phone in his hands and staring at the screen with a puzzled look on his face. All of a sudden, he spoke up and made Jeff jump up. "You might as well come inside, that's less creepy than spying on me."

Jeff tried to recover from the startled expression on his face before the boy inside turned his head a bit and looked up at Jeff –he wasn't sure if he succeeded. He shuffled inside a bit uncomfortably and cleared his throat awkwardly.

The boy seemed amused by Jeff's discomfort, but he didn't look like he was mean enough to abuse this advantage. "Hello, Jeff." He said while he put his phone away and eyed Jeff curiously.

Jeff stared down at his hands. "I .. I don't really know your name, to be honest."

"Oh, that's okay. I've only been here for a couple of weeks, and I like to stay unnoticed most of the time –apparently it's working. Anyway," he stood up, walked towards Jeff, and stuck out his hand. "I'm Sebastian Smythe."

Jeff took his hand and Sebastian squeezed it softly, surprising Jeff with the softness and warmth of his hand. The blonde studied Sebastian's hand for a second (it was a bit like his own, slender and soft, but the warmth reminded him of Nick's hands. Nick's hands were always warm.) before he looked up at the other boy to give him a small smile. "Well, hello then, _Sebastian_."

Sebastian shot a dazzling smile back at Jeff.

As soon as Jeff realized he was squeezing Sebastian's hand pretty hard as if he was clenching onto it to keep his balance while he was being overwhelmed and blinded by the other boy's smile, he let go and put an amused look on the slightly taller boy's face. He seemed to know very well what an effect he could have on people, and Jeff promised himself he wasn't going to fall for it.

"I see you've packed. Shouldn't you going be leaving ?" Jeff he asked, trying to make conversation.

Sebastian shook his head. "No, my dad just texted me he couldn't make it this weekend, so there's not really a point in going home."

Jeff didn't really know how to reply to this, so a couple of awkward seconds passed before he spoke up again. "So, how's the nose ?" he gave a small nod in Sebastian's direction while he studied the other boy's meerkat-like face. His nose still had some red and blue spots on it, and it was slightly swollen.

"I've had worse. Don't worry, I'll survive." He gave Jeff another smile, but this one wasn't as exaggerated and bright as the other one –thank goodness. "But I have to say, it was worth it. It's not every day I get to touch such nice bottoms –apart from my own of course." His smile turned into a smirk and his eyes sparkled for a second.

_Oh crap. So he is one of those kind of guys ? No wonder he has had more punches._ Jeff thought. "Well, don't expect it to happen again. It was completely out of line of you." He answered bluntly.

Sebastian tilted his head a little and studied Jeff's expression until the blonde started to feel nervous. "You're right. Sorry." He paused for a second. "I should've known someone else's boyfriend was a bad choice."

Jeff blinked, and his eyebrows knitted together in a frown. "Wait, so you thought I was already taken, but you still hit on me ? Seriously ? What kind of guy are you ?"

"I'm one who's willing to fight for you." He looked at Jeff with a look the blonde couldn't quite place. "Unlike Nick. He doesn't have to do anything to get your love."

Although Jeff completely uncomfortable with Sebastian's behavior, he was able to remind himself that this was the perfect moment to make his point about Nick and him. "Look, Nick and I are _not_ dating, okay ?"

"Oh !" The chestnut-haired boy seemed surprised. "Are you just fuck buddies then ?"

Jeff's expression turned into one of astonishment and exasperation. "What ? No ! I'm not fucking _anyone_, and especially not _Nick_ !"

Sebastian smirked again. "Really ? Then why were you so sensitive earlier today ?"

"You crossed a line, okay ? You can't just slap anyone's butt at any time you want !" Jeff protested.

"Sorry," for one moment, Sebastian actually looked sorry, but then he put on his smirk again. "It's not every day I see bottoms as beautiful as yours."

Jeff felt his cheeks starting to burn, and he started to get angry with this guy. He had no manners whatsoever, and his flirty behaviour made Jeff uncomfortable because he didn't know how to deal with it. "Don't, okay ? Just don't." he stared into the blue-grayish eyes of Sebastian, who stared back at him with a look that was twice as intense as Jeff's.

A couple of second of silence passed before Sebastian took a step back, softened his expression, and smiled while he spoke up. "Okay. Sorry. I just can't help myself sometimes. I will behave from now on, I promise."

Jeff stared at him suspiciously, but accepted his words and decided to move on. "Well, it was nice to meet you, Sebastian, but I've got to go now. I'll see you around !" he turned around and started walking towards the door, but Sebastian called his name, and it would be very rude of Jeff to ignore that, wouldn't it ? So he stopped in his walk and turned around. "Yes, what is it Sebastian ?"

"I was wondering if I could have your number ?" Sebastian gave him one of the most innocent looks he could imagine, and although he looked like an angel now, Jeff knew better and he hesitated. Sebastian noticed this and looked at him, practically begging. "Please, I don't know that much people here at Dalton yet, and I _promise_ I won't stalk you !"

Jeff bit his lip, still hesitating. Should he give Sebastian his number ? Maybe he was an annoying flirt, but he just got here a couple of weeks ago and didn't seem to have any friends yet- not even a roommate, and it seemed kind of harsh to reject him. "Okay then."

Sebastian's eyes lit up, and Jeff knew he was going to regret this. The slightly shorter boy handed him a pen, and Jeff sent him a questioning look, mentally asking him where to write on.

In reply to this, Sebastian stuck out his hand, and Jeff rolled his eyes. This guy was full of classic, cheap tricks. Yet he wrote down his number, trying to avoid too much contact of their skins, and made his way out of the room as soon as possible.

* * *

><p>Back in the dorm, Nick was waiting for a response of his parents. He had stopped shuffling on his chair, he just sat there, frozen.<p>

All of a sudden, the sound of a loud laugh came out of the speakers. It was his father, he was shaking with laughter.

Nick felt unsure of what to do now. Why was his father laughing ? Was it because he had always known his son was gay, and found Nick's nervousness amusing ? Nick swallowed hard before he opened his mouth. "Why are you laughing ?"

His father's laugh slowly faded and he wiped the tears from his eyes. "Sorry, it's just- My son, gay ? Come on Dianna," he poked his wife between the ribs and received a dirty look back. "Don't you find this a little bit funny ? No ? Well, I told you so ! If you don't find him a girl soon, his hormones will kick in badly and he'll start thinking he felt something for one of his schoolmates." His father started gasping for air again, and a couple of seconds later, he was shaking with laughter again.

"Stop laughing, I'm serious about this !"

"Yes, yes, of course you are." Nick's father managed to utter between gasps.

Nick could've never imagined it would be like this, and he didn't know what to do now. His father's laugh echoed in his ears and sounded ten times louder than it actually was. He felt a pang in his chest and he started to feel his cheeks burning with anger. "This is not funny, I'm serious !" when his father still didn't listen, he shot up from his chair. "I said _stop_ _laughing_ ! This is not a joke !" he exclaimed furiously. "I am absolutely sure about my feelings !"

His father froze for a couple of seconds before a strange expression appeared on his face. "Oh, so you think you're in love ?"

Nick sat down again and tried to control himself. "I don't _think_ I'm in love, I'm sure of it."

His father sighed and glanced at his wife for a moment. "It's this _Jeff _boy, isn't it ?"

Nick's lungs seemed to stop functioning because he couldn't breathe. How could they possibly know ? "Why would it be Jeff ?" he asked.

Nick's father snorted. "You talk about him all the time: Jeff this, Jeff that, Jeff and I so. It's kind of hard not to notice." Then he turned to his wife. "I warned you something like this would happen if we sent him to this all-boys school, but no, _you_ wanted him to go there. Now see what has become of him, he's almost brainwashed ! And the worst part is probably that everyone at that little school of his' is probably going to accept it."

Nick felt a massive argument coming up between his parents, and when his mother finally opened her mouth for the first time since he had told them he was gay, he knew this couldn't end well, and he had to stop it. "No !" he said loudly, his voice sounded slightly desperate. "There is _nothing_ wrong with Dalton ! It's an amazing school: I'm having the time of my life and I'm still getting good grades. It's the best school ever !"

His father frowned. "I think you're having a bit too much fun there with that roommate of yours, Nick. How long before you start messing around ? Or have you already ? –No, don't answer that, I don't even want to know. You listen to me, boy: you're going to start behaving right now, or I will take you away from there."

Nick's eyes widened in shock. His dad had to be kidding. "But dad-"

"No, no buts, Nick. You _will_ obey me, or I'm telling you, I will drag you away from there by your hair if necessary, and I'll drop you at a therapist until you're able to think straight again." His father's voice was laid-back but dark, and it scared the crap out of Nick.

He didn't doubt his father meant what he said, but he had no idea how far his father would go to keep Nick in his control. But before Nick was able to object, his parents disconnected.

* * *

><p>Jeff decided to go to their room. He didn't know if Nick was already done talking with his parents, but he had no idea what to do anymore, and Nick wouldn't mind if Jeff tiptoed back in for a second to get his iPod, right ?<p>

He carefully opened the door and prepared to dodge the sight of Nick's webcam, but when he quickly glanced to the right, he didn't find Nick in the spot he expected. His had already closed his laptop and left his spot behind his desk.

Jeff's eyes focused on the left side of the room, and there he found Nick, sitting on his bed with his knees pulled up to his chest while he stared into space. Jeff was just in time to see the angry and sad expression on Nick's face because the shorter boy now noticed Jeff and with one smooth move he quickly wiped away the tear that rolled down his cheek.

"Don't even _ask_. Just be glad you weren't there." Nick snapped at Jeff before grabbing his jacket and his keys. "Let's just go to that stupid party." He walked out of the dorm and slammed the door shut, leaving Jeff still inside, staring at the door with a startled expression.

He assumed Nick's conversation with his parents didn't go too well, and he decided not to mention it anymore tonight. They were going to a party after all, and that was supposed to be fun.

He grabbed his own jacket, locked the door of their dorm behind him, and followed Nick.


	9. Chapter 9

**Blegh. Sorry it took so long, I was kind of busy and so was my beta, so yeah. But this chapter is a bit longer than usual [probably] so I hope that makes up for it a little bit :3**

**And again, thank you for the kind reviews, they keep me writing, so thank you ! If you have any tips on how to improve my writing, feel free to put that in a review as well, that's what they're for, right ? ;D Also, everyone should follow my beta, the Jeffie to my Nick, Lizzie (_shipallthethings_ on Tumblr) (:**

**Oh, and I have no idea what I rated this story, but there are some M-ish things in this chapter, just saying. It's a party with beer and teenage guys after all ;D**

* * *

><p>Jeff was sitting at one of the many tables, Thad sat next to him, Wes sat on the other side of the table, facing Thad, and Lewis sat next to Wes, opposite Jeff. They had sat here for more than an hour, and the three darker haired boys were chatting about stuff that didn't interest Jeff in the slightest, while loud music burst out of the speakers and a lot of colourful lights flickered on the walls, but Jeff didn't pay attention to any of these things.<p>

The only thing he was interested in was the shorter dark haired boy who sat at the bar, talking to a girl with curly, red hair. It was more flirting than talking actually, he was smiling and laughing all the time, and Jeff had seen him buy two drinks for the girl already.

Jeff felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart: he was the one who used to do those things with Nick (besides from the flirting. Okay, okay. Including the flirting, but that was just innocent and meant nothing, but this time Nick seemed serious about the flirting). They used to goof around all the time, laughing, buying each other drinks and- oh gosh, now Nick's even taking her to the dance floor.

When Nick took her hand and led her to the dance floor, Jeff couldn't bare to look at them for a second more, and he turned his head away in disgust, only to realize the other boys at the table had stopped talking and were staring at Jeff now.

"Dude, are you okay ?" Thad asked after he put his bottle of beer down.

Jeff quickly straightened his face, but his eyes lingered on the dance floor for one second before he replied. "Of course." He tried to fake a smile, but he was pretty sure he failed at this, because he just couldn't get himself to pull up the corners of his mouth. "Why wouldn't I be ?" he started playing with the straws he had gotten with his milkshake (because he wasn't going to have any alcohol tonight) and looked past Lewis to watch Nick dance wildly with that girl.

This was a stupid move, because Lewis turned around to have a look at what Jeff had been staring at. "Because your best friend –and probably secret crush, is dancing with someone else, maybe ?"

"I'm _not_ crushing on Nick, okay ?" the blonde snapped, immediately regretting being so harsh towards his friend. He took a deep breath and sighed. "Sorry, it's just.. it's been a long day, and so much has been going on lately .. I'm just a bit tired. Don't take it personally." Obviously, he left out more than half of the things that were bothering him.

For instance, he wasn't only hurt by seeing Nick with someone else. The fact that it was a _girl_ made Jeff angry (and worried at the same time). Nick had been so sure about his sexuality earlier that day, and now he was acting against everything he had said that afternoon. It just didn't make sense ..

Lewis interrupted Jeff's thoughts. "Point taken." Then he put down his glass, licked his lips and got up on his feet. "I'm going for a dance, who's with me ?"

"Me !" Thad quickly drank the last bit of beer that was left in his bottle, and stood up as well. "Aren't you going to come ?" he asked, glaring at Wes.

"No, thanks. I'll pass. Maybe I'll join you a bit later on the evening." Said the Asian council member.

"Really ?" Thad asked aghast. "Oh .. Well .. Then you better join me later on the evening, gavel-banger !" he said before turning around and walking to the dance floor with Lewis.

_That's not the only thing he bangs_ .. Jeff thought. It wouldn't be the first time Jeff and Nick would be wide awake because of the noises coming out of the room next to them, and suddenly Jeff wondered if Nick would be taken the red-headed girl back to the dorm too. Probably not, girls weren't allowed inside this late –unless it was like, your sister or something.

He still couldn't believe Nick was hitting on her, and Jeff hated her already. Why did she have to be so pretty and charming ? It wasn't fair. Like the way it wasn't fair Nick had kissed him to sort out his own sexuality and messing around with Jeff's feelings at the same time, then telling him he was sure he was gay, giving Jeff false hope, and then crushing that hope not even a day later ..

But why did Nick do it though ? Nick had said he loved him, he just wasn't sure in what way he meant. Jeff had hoped that maybe this, and all this flirting, talking and hugging between him and Nick, meant something more. He had hoped that _maybe_ Nick was in the same situation he was in himself. He had refused to admit any of this though, it would kill him if it wasn't true, but now Nick had shattered the tiny bit of hope Jeff had had left, he noticed that this was actually the thought he had been clenching onto, and he had no idea what he was going to do now it was gone..

"Jeff ? Jeff !" Wes' voice snapped Jeff out of his thoughts.

"Huh ? Oh, what is it ?" he asked indifferently.

The Asian boy glared at him with concern in his eyes. "You're staring again." Wes said.

Why did Wes always have to catch him ? It took Jeff a lot of effort to get his eyes off Nick, but he succeeded and looked at Wes for a second. "Sorry." he muttered, lowering his eyes to study the half empty glass in front of him.

Wes sighed. "You know, you're only drawing attention to yourself when you're behaving like this. People will start asking questions, and at some point, you're not going to be able to come up with excuses anymore, and I'm pretty sure that's the last thing you want, am I right ?"

".. right ?" Jeff wondered why Wes was suddenly being so serious. "Wes, what do you know ?"

Wes blinked up at him. "Should I know anything ? Why would I know anything ? I've been your friend for a while and I noticed-"

"Don't be stupid. You know something, you're never this serious or honest. And during dinner, defending us, where did that come from ? Usually you're in for a bit of teasing. So," Jeff paused a second and stared into Wes' eyes. "What do you know ?" he really hoped Wes didn't know anything to be honest, but he was quite sure the other boy knew _something_, and he had to figure out what it was.

"For starters, I know you can't wrap your hand around your elbow and make your fingers meet."

"For goodness sakes, Wes ! Just tell me what you know already !" he said angrily. Wes' Doctor Who quotes could be amusing, but there is a time and a place. Whatever it was Wes knew, it wasn't just something, and Jeff needed to know what it was.

"Okay, fine !" Wes threw his hands up in the air in surrender. He breathed out and started talking lower. "I know about the kiss."

"What ?" All the blood seemed to drain from Jeff's face, and his eyes widened. This was what he had feared the most. "Did Nick _tell_ you ?" he couldn't believe it. Nick had begged him not to tell anyone, and now he had told Wes himself ? Well, tonight couldn't get any worse, just like Nick.

"No ! He didn't tell me anything. In fact he's going to kill me for telling you .. But I found out by accident, I found a paper in the bin where he had written certain things on .."

"Oh my gosh ! He wrote it down ? That's even worse ! What if anybody else finds it or reads it ? Or have they already ? How many people know ?"

"Woah, calm _down_, Jeff ! There's no need to worry ! He didn't use names anywhere, I just recognized his handwriting, but it wasn't hard to guess it was about you. I mean, who else would he kiss ?" Wes shut up awkwardly, just realizing that Nick was in fact hitting on a girl right now.

Jeff automatically looked over to the dance floor again, and he noticed Nick and the girl were gone. A knot formed in his stomach at the thought of Nick making out with her in a corner, but it loosened a bit when he found the two at the bar having a drink. At least they weren't kissing.

"Sorry. I'm pretty sure Nick doesn't really know what he's doing right now. I think he really likes you, okay ?" Oops. He really had to watch his mouth. Fortunately Jeff didn't seem impressed by Wes' words. "By the way, he had also written down you two needed to talk about it. So .. have you ? –talked about it ?"

"My _goodness_, how much have you _read_ ? Didn't you think of stopping at some point ?"

"I know I shouldn't have read it, but I couldn't help myself ! What would you have done if you were me ?" When Jeff remained silent, Wes continued. "Exactly. And just for the record, I probably know more than you."

"Yeah, I'm having no trouble whatsoever believing that !" Jeff exclaimed, after which he snorted, leaned back and remained silent for a couple of seconds. "But to answer your first question: we did. Talk. But it didn't really clear up a lot."

Now it was Wes' turn to remain silent. "But you like him, too, right ?" he asked after a couple of seconds.

**_Too_**. Did that mean Wes knew Nick liked him ? Jeff's gaze flickered towards the bar again, but as soon as Jeff saw Nick chatting and laughing with that girl, his heart sank again. No. Nick didn't like him back. "Not at the moment, but if you ever tell someone, I will _kill_ you."

"Yeah, yeah. No need for death threats. Been there already." Wes leaned back with a satisfied look on his face. "I won't tell anyone, I promise."

"_Especially_ not Nick !" Jeff gave him a stern look.

"Especially not Nick. Got it." Wes pretended to seal his lips like a zipper, and Jeff hoped Wes would finally shut up about this.

The blonde jumped up when he felt something vibrate in his pocket: he always forgot he had a phone. He took it out of his pocket and stared at the screen: NEW TEXT. An unknown sender ? That was weird ..

He opened the text and he didn't need to look at the name at the end of the text to know whose it was. He sighed and rolled with his eyes.

Wes stared at the bar and saw Nick was still talking to the girl, so it wasn't him. Then who was it ? Jeff barely ever texted with non-Nickers. "Who is it ?" he snatched the phone out of Jeff's hand and his eyebrows formed a frown as he read the text out loud. "Hi hottie. Thought I'd text you. How's your evening? If you're bored I volunteer to entertain you, in exchange I get to touch your butt one more time. Sebastian. … Who the hell is that ?"

"Sebastian." Jeff answered bluntly, quickly taking his phone back.

"Yeah, I read that. But who is he ? I've never heard of him before."

"In fact, you have. He's the guy I punched in the face."

Wes smirked in amusement. "Ahh, our little butt-slapper ? Well, you've got yourself a stalker now, Jeff ! Congratulations !"

Jeff groaned. Wes was right, Sebastian was going to stalk him. "I know, I should've never given him my number. But he practically begged and I couldn't resist the look in his eyes .. Darn him." Wes' smirk grew. "Shut up !" Jeff snapped while he put his phone back in his pocket.

"Aren't you going to text him back ?"

"No. He'll probably just keep sending texts, and I'm not going to waste more time on him." Jeff cursed himself once again for giving Sebastian his number. Stupid. "Anyways, I'm going to the bathroom." He said while he stood up. "Please don't feel obligated to sit at this table with me for the rest of the evening." He knew he sounded a bit harsh, but he was quite pissed off and he thought he had all reason to be.

"Okay then, I'm off to dance floor ! I promised Thad, after all." Wes winked at Jeff and stood up.

"Well, I'd be quick if you still want to dance with Thad, because he really seems to be getting it on with that other bloke." Jeff nodded towards the dance floor. He heard a door open, and saw a familiar face. "Or you could just dance with Flint, who's fashionably late -as always." He joked without any amusement in his voice before he started walking in the direction of the toilets.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Jeffers ! Come over here !" Jeff stopped in his walk as he heard Nick's voice. Why did he have to walk past the bar to get to the toilets ? He had tried to walk by unnoticed, but his bright hair had probably given him away.<p>

"Myrte, this is my best friend Jeff, who I was talking about earlier today." Nick gestured towards Jeff as the red-headed girl, whose name apparently was Myrte, turned around to face Jeff and smiled at him. "Jeff, this is Myrte." Nick added quickly.

"Nice to meet you, Jeff." Myrte stuck out her hand, and Jeff felt obligated to shake it.

He forced a small smile on his face –he refused to give Nick the impression he was okay with all of this, but he didn't want to come across like an asshole to Myrte. "Yeah, same." Jeff pulled back his hand and slowly started walking backwards. "But I really need to go to the toilet, sorry !" he excused himself before turning around and running to the toilets, bumping into some people on the way.

Nick raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "Everyone's got their bad days." His laughed stifled when he realized this was actually a bad day for him too. He quickly shook his head and smiled while he raised his bottle again before bringing it to his lips. This was his third beer in an hour time. He hadn't planned on drinking, but he just wanted to have fun tonight, and beer seemed to let him forget about what had happened earlier today.

He didn't want to get drunk though, tipsy was enough to make him feel better. And Myrte, of course. She made him feel better too.

"So, tell me more about Jeff." Myrte said.

"Do you really want to talk about him right now ? I mean, there's a very interesting guy right in front of you, you know." He said with a wink.

Myrte let out a small laugh. "True." She admitted. "But please ? We've talked about you so much already !" she whined.

"Okay, okay. Let me think .. He's very strong, very caring, most of the time he's pretty fun too and .. oh ! He's also a good kisser." Nick said with a smirk. He didn't even know why he said that, probably the alcohol talking.. or not. He really shouldn't take another beer after he had finished this one. He wasn't used to alcohol.

Myrte's mouth fell open. "You kissed ?"

"Yeah." Nick's smirk grew. "But it was nothing, really. It was just a kiss, a very good one though .. But we're just friends." Somehow saying these words hurt, and his smirk vanished for a second. "Anyways, shall I demonstrate ?" he said, putting his charming smile up again and raising one eyebrow playfully.

The alcohol in Myrte's system prevented her from blushing, so she just smirked a bit naughty.

Nick took that as a yes, and he leaned in, his hand finding its way to the back of her neck, pulling her closer and letting their lips meet. It felt good, her lips were warm, but not as soft as Jeff's because she had put sticky stuff –lipgloss, Nick assumed, on. The spark he had felt with Jeff wasn't there either, so he decided to deepen the kiss, maybe it would come later on. He shouldn't even be thinking about Jeff now, gosh, why did he have to drag the other boy into everything ? Nick moaned softly and decided to shut all his thoughts out for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>When Jeff entered the bathroom, the first thing he did was looking in the big mirrors above the sinks: he looked exactly the same, except for the expression on his face. It's weird, but after everything he'd been through last couple of days, he thought he might look different in some way. Apparently he was wrong.<p>

Suddenly, one of the toilet doors opened and Louis stepped out. "Oh, hey, Jeff !" he said while he quickly fixed the zipper of his pants.

"Hey." Jeff answered.

"So, how are you enjoying the party ?" Louis asked while he walked over to one of the sinks to wash his hands.

Jeff shrugged. "Nothing special. –I don't mean you didn't do a good job organizing this, it's a really good party and everyone's having a lot of fun, but for me it's just .. I don't know. I'm not really in the mood."

Louis nodded. "Yeah, I understand. It's Nick with that girl, isn't it ?"

Jeff sighed. "Yeah. But I don't want to hear about it anymore, so .. I'm looking forward to your next party when I'm in the mood." He said with a small smile.

Louis smiled back. "Maybe you and Nick are finally together by then !" he smirked but quickly straightened his face and continued talking before Jeff got the chance to respond to this. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have only had one beer tonight, and I'm going to party hard for the rest of the evening. See ya !" he said right before he left.

Jeff stood there for a couple of seconds until Thad and a boy Jeff didn't know ran in, hands linked, hastily making their way to one of the toilet cabins. Jeff quickly made his way out, he didn't want to hear any of this.

While he walked out, he glanced at his watch: it was almost 10.30. Thad was early this time, usually he waited until midnight.

The blonde shrugged and looked up, his gaze finding Nick immediately. The shorter boy's face was flushed, his hair messy, and he had a stupid smile on his face. Jeff knew what that meant, he knew what people looked like after making out. Seemed like it was time to get Nick out of here before either of them did anything else extremely stupid.

He quickly made his way over to his friend and grabbed him by the shoulders. "It's time to go, Nickers."

Nick's startled eyes stared at Jeff, and his lips formed a pout. "But I'm having fun !"

"Yeah, a little bit too much if you'd ask me."

"But nobody asked you." Nick said bluntly.

Jeff rolled with his eyes. "Nick." He said as if he was talking to a toddler –which Nick might be mentally right now.

"Jeff." Nick mimicked his voice.

The blonde sighed and pulled Nick up to his feet. "Come on, Warbler night's tomorrow and we need to do some homework before it starts. And I don't want you to be hangover tomorrow because I'm not going to clean the toilet again, and most certainly not five times in two hours !"

"Aww." Nick whined while he pouted again. Then he turned to Myrte. "Sorry, my possessive friend here won't let me stay longer. I'll call you tomorrow !" he leant over to peck her on the cheek, but he was dragged along with Jeff before his lips even got close to her cheek.

He waved one last time at her, and she gave a small wave in return while she smiled. He didn't notice the look on Jeff's face.

* * *

><p>Jeff dragged Nick along to the car –it wasn't that Nick couldn't walk himself, but he had clenched onto Jeff's torso and he wasn't planning on letting go. When they only had a couple of meters left to the car, Jeff's phone buzzed, and the blonde let out an irritated sigh, not paying attention to the buzzing in his pocket. His evening was worse enough already, he didn't need any more Sebastian.<p>

"Jeffie, your phone." Nick said, pointing at Jeff's pocket.

Jeff continued dragging Nick along and wasn't about to answer his phone. "Ignore it."

"It's annoying, I feel it too, it's buzzing against my-"

"For goodness sake, _Nick_, I said _ignore_ it !" Jeff snapped, letting go of Nick who could regain his balance just in time. He looked startled at Jeff but wisely shut his mouth and walked along.

Jeff regretted being so harsh and stopped in his walk, waiting for Nick to catch up so he could clench onto him if he still wanted to –which was the case.

When they had made it safely to the car –which was a whole lot more difficult than you'd think, Jeff put Nick in the passenger's seat, fastened his seatbelt and took place in the driver's seat himself. "So, is she a good kisser ?" Jeff turned to Nick and stared at him, but he made sure he didn't look him in the eyes.

Nick was about to answer when it hit him Jeff wasn't even there when they kissed. "Wait, who says we kissed ? I'm not saying we haven't, but you were in the bathroom when it happened."

Jeff smiled sadly. "You've got lipgloss on your lips." He moved his arm and wiped the sticky, glittery stuff from the corner of Nick's mouth like a mother would wipe away Nutella from her child's mouth.

Nick just sort of watched Jeff's movements, his eyes lingering on the other boy's lips, and almost forgot about the question. "Uhm, well," he cleared his throat awkwardly, his gaze quickly fixing on something else. "She is quite a good kisser, yes."

"Okay, good." Jeff nodded awkwardly and turned away from Nick, glaring through the windshield of his car. "Better than me ?"

"I don't know .. Do I have to answer that ?" Nick said irritated. Why did Jeff always have to ask such difficult questions ? "She seemed more experienced, but .. I don't know, okay ? Why are you even asking ?"

Jeff blinked and tried to keep a straight face. "You know why I'm asking this, Nick. And I think I know the answer already."

"No, I didn't mean that you were a bad kisser ! Not at all actually .. But that's not the point-"

"No_, the points is_-" Jeff interrupted loudly, "_My_ kiss turned you gay, don't even try to argue about that, you know it's true, but apparently her kiss turned you straight again. That's just great."

"Well, maybe I'm just bi or something !" Nick exclaimed. "How would I know ? She's really nice, okay ?"

"I'm pretty sure that's not what you thought earlier today."

"So ? Maybe I've changed my mind. That's completely normal. Why are you so mad at me ?"

"I'm not mad at you, Nick. I just can't believe- .. I'm just disappointed in you."

"Oh, great." Nick snorted scornfully. "Well, then you should know you're not the only one. But I was pretty sure you said you'd be my friend no matter what. What happened to that, huh ? Why do you even care so much ?"

Jeff remained silent for a couple of seconds before starting the car and grabbing the wheel. "I don't want to have this conversation right now, you're half drunk and I'm tired. Forget about it, we'll talk another time." He said over the loud noise of the starting engine.

* * *

><p>When they arrived at their dorm, Nick didn't bother changing clothes. He simply took his shirt off –Jeff had to try his hardest not to stare- and flopped down on his bed.<p>

Jeff changed clothes in the bathroom –he basically went to the bathroom, undid himself from his clothes and put an old shirt on, and turned out the light before slipping into his own bed.

When he finally found a comfortable position and relaxed, he felt he was more tired than he thought he was. He hoped for a good night's sleep and maybe forgetting about everything that happened tonight. He also didn't feel like wishing Nick goodnight, he was mad at him for what he had done tonight. It had all been so wrong .. It just wasn't Nick. Maybe Nick would be normal in the morning. Maybe he would be normal himself in the morning too .. Therefore he should catch some sleep, so he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

"Jeffie ?"

Jeff groaned when Nick spoke up. "What is it ?"

"Can I get a goodnight kissie ?" Nick said giggling.

Jeez, he was further gone than Jeff had thought. "No."

"It can just be a peck on my cheek ?"

"No. You've had your fun already, and I'm trying to sleep here. Just go to sleep, Nick." Jeff said. He didn't have to look at Nick to know he was pouting, but he didn't really care. If he hadn't been so mad at him, he might have even been crazy enough to give him his stupid peck.. Thank goodness he was mad at Nick.

He turned around and tried to sleep again, but this time other noises kept him up.

First the door of the room next to theirs slammed shut, then fast footsteps were audible, and not long after that, moans were too.

_Oh gosh._ Jeff thought. _Not again_.

"Wes and Thad seem busy." Nick said, holding back laughter.

"Indeed." Jeff replied. "I wish they'd just _BE QUIETER FOR ONCE_." He shouted, moving his head in the direction of the thin wall that separated the two rooms. Obviously, the two boys on the other side of the wall didn't pay attention to this, and Jeff doubted they had even heard it at all.

He sighed and let his head fall back into his pillow again while the moaning and groaning next door continued. He was used to these noises, especially during weekends, but this was insanely loud, even for Wes and Thad. He barely even recognized their voices.

Besides the noises from the neighbours, Jeff and Nick's dorm was quiet for a couple of minutes, both boys attempting to sleep, but neither of them succeeded.

"Jeff ?" Nick spoke up again.

"What is it, Nick ?"

"I can't sleep."

Jeff snorted. "No wonder. Neither can I."

"Can I sleep with you in your bed ?"

Jeff frowned and thought about this. He was still mad at Nick, but he'd love to sleep in the same bed with Nick again, it was nice. Not that he'd ever let Nick know. Plus, he couldn't stay mad at Nick for long, especially not when he was tired. He could fight with him tomorrow, right ? "Alright, fine." He scooted over to make room for Nick.

Nick tiptoed over to Jeff's bed and slid underneath the covers, brushing his shoulder against Jeff's. "Thank you." He said with a satisfied and happy smile on his face.

Jeff couldn't help but wrapping an arm around the other boy's naked shoulder and pulling him a little close –but not too close, of course. "You're welcome." _I think_ ..

The moans next door fastened, swearwords and the sound of skin slapping against skin joined in, and Jeff wrinkled his nose in disgust. He felt Nick shaking slightly against him, and it was only when he let out a snicker that Jeff understood he was laughing.

"Oh come on, Nick. What age are you ?"

"Threee !" Nick said immaturely, receiving a playful poke from Jeff between the ribs.

A loud groan sounded from the room next to them, and then it went silent. "That sounded like Wes' big finale, it should be quiet for the rest of the evening now." Nick stated.

Jeff snickered. "Thank goodness. Now I'll finally be able to sleep."

"Goodnight, Jeffers." Nick said, snuggling his head a bit into Jeff's arm.

Jeff's eyes were used to the dark by now, and he could make out the shape of Nick's body perfectly. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with love for the boy who was using his arm as pillow, and he smiled before moving his head and pecking Nick on the cheek. "Goodnight, Nickers."

He saw Nick smiling, and he started to feel warm inside. Then he cursed himself for not being able to stay mad at him, but he was too tired to think deeper about this now. He'd get mad at Nick tomorrow, right now he just wanted to sleep.


End file.
